WELLTHY Generation Podcast!

69. Bravery, Style, and Self-Love: The Confidence Formula

• Naihomy Jerez • Episode 69

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Join us for an insightful conversation about building self-confidence and the essential role bravery plays in the journey. We discuss how internal perceptions and external appearances intertwine to shape our overall self-confidence.

• Exploring the importance of confidence and self-love 
• Discussing the balance between external appearances and internal self-care 
• The impact of clothing choices on self-image and confidence 
• How to develop bravery in the pursuit of personal change 
• Practical steps for enhancing self-image through exploration of fitting clothes 
• Encouragement to embrace the journey and start being brave 

If you are struggling to find your confidence or need help on your journey, book a consultation with us today. 

Thank you so much for listening!


Speaker 1:

Hello friends, welcome back to Wealthy Generation Podcast. This one's going to be short and sweet. It is a topic that I've been thinking a lot about, because it's like questions my clients have, things I've been coaching them on, and also something that I started to think about once. I compared a 10-year before and after photo. It wasn't a before and after, it was just like 10 year difference, and I'll get more into it, though. Basically, the topic is what you need in order to be confident or to find confidence right.

Speaker 1:

I think a lot of times when I ask my clients what they want or what their goal is, they're like I want to be more confident, and ultimately, pretty closely tied to that is they want to feel better in their clothes. They want to look better in their clothes, and that's a topic like clothes and how you look in. Photos has been coming up a lot and just how you look on the outside, which is 100% valid, right? I was just telling my client today that it's valid to want to look a certain way on the outside, and it does contribute a lot to how you feel and your confidence and what you think about yourself. I was explaining that. I do think that 50% of it is how you treat yourself on the inside and what happens from the inside out. However, things on the outside, like your clothes or whatever different people do, like facials or different types of treatments and things like that is all fair game Like, yes, boo, do you to feel better in your skin, but knowing, too, that the other 50% comes from what you're doing from the inside out. How are you feeding your body to complement how you look on the outside? What are the nutrients that you're giving it, the puzzle pieces that it needs for it to rebuild skin, to do its processes, like digestive system, reducing inflammation all that that can also help you feel better in your skin. They go hand in hand.

Speaker 1:

So I've been thinking a lot about that and also, as I mentioned, it was my 39th birthday recently and some people on Instagram were commenting on how I didn't look 39. I look more like 29. And then I was like Ooh, what did I look like at 29? I want to see if this is true and I dug up some photos and I did basically the 10 year difference and I did basically the 10-year difference and I don't know if I look younger or not, but I know that I look so much healthier now, so much less inflamed. My body composition is totally different, granted that when I turned 29, I was a new mom. I was still in postpartum, I had an eight-month month old baby and all that. But to see the difference was really impressive.

Speaker 1:

And it ties into this confidence conversation, or how to get there that I want to chat about, because, hands down, about three to four of my clients straight in a row were talking about what they look like in clothes, how they want to feel, and oftentimes you're looking for a health and wellness goal and it's not specifically like I want to reverse my prediabetes, right, or whatever other health goal. Sometimes, yes, it is to lose weight, but oftentimes it is I want to look better, the end goal, what you're looking at, and not even counting the progress you make along the way. The thing you want is I want to look good and feel good in these pants, in this dress. I want to look so good in these photos, right. When I look at myself in pictures, I feel enter, how you might feel not confident. I want this to look different, a bunch of stuff.

Speaker 1:

So I really do think that there is a process to get there and you can get there, but we just want to, we just think maybe I shouldn't say we what I observe is that you just get there right, like you make a decision and all of a sudden you're confident and it stays. And it can't be that way for some people, like you just decide that you're not going to give a shit anymore. Yo hago, lo que me da la gana. I do whatever I want and I don't care. But the truth is that sometimes we do care and it's not even about other people, it's about what we see and what we actually want to see. And there are many levels to this right. So there is like strategic parts to it and then there is like the mindset part of it and the actual part that needs to get done in these instances.

Speaker 1:

And I really do think that before you're confident right, because it takes work to get there that's the thing. It actually takes work. To get there, you need to be brave. Bravery comes first and is such a backward ass thing to say, because sometimes we do think like, oh, I'm just going to be confident tomorrow If I put on this piece of clothing. I'm going to be confident. If I just find the right piece of clothing. I'm going to be confident If I just exercise more. I'm going to look how I want to in pictures and I'm going to be confident. I'm going to feel different. But the reason why that hasn't happened for you yet is because I really do think it does not work that way. There are emotions and steps that you need to take before you get there, because no piece of clothing it doesn't matter how much you go to the gym and things like that is not really going to change that. And you know why? Because consistency creates the changes that you want to look a certain way and be confident and to be able to build on that consistency, you need the courage to continue to show up for yourself, no matter what. And to get to the courage, you need to be brave, and that is the starting point bravery, because when I'm coaching my clients, they want this end result of looking a certain way in their clothes. I just want to be confident. But the work that it takes to get there is not just with a snap of a finger, and the work that it takes to get there may seem really scary, because you're just going to have to start changing your lifestyle, changing how you appreciate your body, how you shop for clothes, different things like that and that takes bravery. You have to be brave and go for it so that you can go down this list of being courageous right, of sticking to what it is that you need to do, because it's also not like this one and done deal and then move on to building on and creating that confidence. Right to building on and creating that confidence right.

Speaker 1:

And I was thinking right on the 10-year difference from my photos. I'm like what did I do to be consistent for this long? And my health journey hasn't been 10 years, it's been eight years. But I was thinking I'm like what compels me to stick to this lifestyle for eight years? And the truth is that I had a goal, and actually my goal was to look better in clothes too, and I thought that losing weight equals looking better in clothes, which sometimes yes, it does. And at the same time, I knew that having clothes that fit me appropriately was a big deal to feeling confident, because there's nothing worse than you wearing clothes that doesn't fit you right. There's nothing worse than you wearing clothes that doesn't fit you right and it's too tight or it's too loose or it doesn't hug your body in the right places.

Speaker 1:

So, even though I was on this journey to lose weight, I went and bought clothes that actually fit me, knowing that I was not going to need them for a while, for a very long time and I made sure not to buy clothes that was too expensive because I knew that that was the goal. But in the meantime, having clothes that actually fit me gave me this boost of confidence because it fit me appropriately, and there's a lot of people that knew me back then that they'll see photos of me and they're like I don't remember you that way. I don't remember that you were this size or looked like that, and I feel like the reason was was because I picked clothing that actually fit me and my body at that time. And that's where the bravery comes in, because I had to be brave enough to spend the money that I knew was quote unquote was a short-term investment. I needed the bravery to accept and love my body the way it was at that moment, not punish myself by being like I don't deserve new clothes or to look good until I lose a certain amount of weight. You need bravery for that, you need a difference in mindset for that and I think that really helped me, and along the way, I continuously had to figure out and buy new clothes and decide that I was going to love myself in that moment. So it starts with the bravery, but it doesn't end there, because now you have to remain consistent and show up so that you can continue to create those changes that you want, so that you can reach your end goal and you can really be confident. But don't you see how you start to be confident along the way, in the clothing that you do have and in the way that you think about it and not punish yourself?

Speaker 1:

I have a client who she re-signed with me to continue working on her specific goals and when I spoke to her about it because, anyway, like we were working on very deep things in the first round, and then it's kind of like the continuation now of actual food and like lifestyle coaching basically now of actual food and like lifestyle coaching basically and she was like I really want to be confident in my clothes, like I want to feel good when I wear something and, yes, she's working on eating and losing weight and moving her body more but I told her that she couldn't wait. Not that she couldn't wait, but that we could start working on that immediately, right now. And also to learn to feel good in your clothes. You need to learn how to dress yourself. You need to learn what fits you right. You need to learn what brands work for you. So it's not the snap of a finger either that every single article of clothing that you try on is going to fit like a glove. That is total BS, because there are so many fabrics, so many different cuts, so many styles, so many brands that have different sizes for clothing, so it might look different in each store that you go to.

Speaker 1:

I'm not a stylist people. It's just literally. This is just stuff I've learned along the way. There's just many different things and the fact that I had to go and try on like 20 different pairs of jeans to find ones that actually fit nice, but I don't, and this is what I was telling my client. There needs to be this exploratory phase where you go to dressing rooms and different stores and you try different things on to see how they fit, and that's exactly what I did too.

Speaker 1:

As my body was changing, I'm like I'm not going to buy random clothes because that's what I was doing and then I was really wasting money because nothing fit me or it wasn't my right size and I would rip off the tags and all this. So one time I was like I'm going to go to the mall, I'm going to go to the stores, I'm going to grab a bunch of sizes of things I like and get to know what fits me and what doesn't, and what size I am in different stores and what's my style now. And that was so good for me because I learned so much and it's never that something's wrong with you or your body. It's just that you need to figure out what is going to fit you and what brands work. So before that exercise, that was part two of her exercise.

Speaker 1:

Part one of her exercise was going through her actual closet and trying the stuff on that she already has and making a decision whether she wanted to keep it or donate it. Because keeping a bunch of clothes that you don't love out of black mentality in there, or that doesn't fit or it's not your style anymore, is just blocking up that energy. It really is. So how are we going to let new energy in for this, new clothes and how you want to feel if you're hanging on to stuff that no longer is aligned with you, that doesn't fit you, that you don't like anymore, just because you already bought it or you don't want to let it go. So it's time to give it new life. You donate it, you give it to people who you love, and it might fit somebody else better and you can make their day. So that's the thing about reaching confidence. Because that's her end goal, she's like I just want to be confident in these clothing, and I did too in my journey.

Speaker 1:

But I really did take all these steps. I went through my closet. I got rid of everything that did not fit me, that was not my style, that I didn't think I was going to wear again. I kept a few pieces that were sentimental or that I wanted to see if I got into again, but just a few, not my entire closet. Then I had to go, and that takes bravery. You're letting things go, you're giving it new life, you're moving on. You're getting to feelings that we want to feel. Start with being brave, because I can guarantee you it always takes an action that feels scary to start the journey and the process to get to where you want to go.

Speaker 1:

It does just, just does not happen like that and usually we tie it to one specific thing Again. It's like when I lose this weight or when I, and what I told my client was you cannot wait for this kind of goal, like reaching this kind of goal of a specific number on a scale or a specific size of clothing. Because when you look at it, when you kind of prevent yourself from loving yourself at the moment and making changes at the moment, especially emotionally, along the process, when you get to where you want to be, you're not even going to realize it. One, you're not going to be able to enjoy it and it's probably not going to be enough Right, it's not going to be enough. You're probably not going to realize how far you've come and that you are actually where you want to be. That is what you prayed for.

Speaker 1:

So if you just start off the journey like that man that is powerful, just loving yourself, not rewarding yourself, but meeting your needs, meeting yourself where you are meeting your needs, meeting yourself where you are loving everything your body has done for you in the process, that's brave, because not a lot of people are able to do that and all of a sudden you start to reach this confidence piece and in between, that is the courage and the determination to keep going so that you can keep on reaching new progress and new goals. And there you can always have new goals to some degree. And there comes a time where you're just content. Where you're just content, you are confident, not 24-7, because if somebody tells you they are confident 24-7, they're lying through their teeth. There are days you feel sexy AF and then there are days where you just want to hide under your sheets in a hoodie and you feel super bloated, mind you, let me tell you what I do. I have clothing specifically for when I feel bloated. That it's cute, it's not form fitting, it's not like. Also, learn how to dress for how you're feeling in your body and you're not forcing yourself into something where you're not feeling it in the first place. And this goes with photos too.

Speaker 1:

To quickly touch on photos, you know people that take really great photos. I've learned practice a lot. They practice posing. They practice like they figure out what their best side is. They figure out how, to what side their hair needs to be flipped to. They figure out that they need to stand on their left side with their right leg, pointing out. They realize that they need to be standing and not sitting. If they're sitting, they need to be.

Speaker 1:

So, again, it takes work to figure out how you look in a photo, and there are photos that maybe they catch you at the wrong angle or you haven't figured out these quirks of how you look in photos yet and we make it mean something about ourselves, about how terrible we look, when that's just not it. It's just that a lot of people have figured out what their good side is. Let me tell you something If you're going to take a photo with me, I'm going to stand on the left. I am going to stand on the left because I think that my left side looks the nicest in a photo Okay, the nicest in a photo, okay. And I am going to stand up tall, put my shoulders back, suck in the belly, because that is what makes me look better in a photo. And there is no shame in sucking in the belly and putting like what's it called Tits out or whatever right when you're going to take a photo.

Speaker 1:

So don't make it mean when you are not looking how you want to look or you're not feeling how you want to feel in clothing, that it's you, it's not you, it's figuring these things out, that a lot of people have spent time figuring out things out. That a lot of people have spent time figuring out. That is all, and not punishing yourself along the way and saying that you're not going to and forcing yourself to wear stuff that doesn't fit right. Know that to get to that confidence and joy and peace and all that freedom, you can start to work on that and accomplish that right now. And the first thing you need is bravery. You need to be brave and just go for it. Go for what scares you. Go to the store, try on the clothes, try practicing taking photos, go through your closet, decide that you're going to love yourself today exactly how you are and you're going to dress yourself well exactly how you are now. You don't need to spend a gazillion dollars. You can just buy a piece or two, or you can go rent clothes. That's been so much fun for me too. Not all of them fit exactly like I like them, but there's usually a few pieces that do find your way.

Speaker 1:

Be brave what is that one thing that you are scared to do? But you know that that's exactly what's going to move the needle. I 100% sure that if you break down the steps of what needs to happen for you to get to that confidence, for you to get to that joy, you know what your next step is. You're just really scared to take it. And that's why I say that break. And then you wish that you didn't have to do all of that to get to where you want to be. And that is why I say that bravery comes first, before the confidence.

Speaker 1:

Next step in my journey, and to have the courage to continue to be brave when I need to and show up and go for it until it doesn't feel like braver anymore. It just feels like oh, stuff I do. That has made all the difference in my health and wellness journey and something I try and coach my clients on so much. Because if we wait and wait and wait for certain results to love ourselves, to find our confidence, to treat ourselves with grace and kindness and not show up for ourselves, then it's just hard, man, it's hard and the journey is not fun and we feel like we never make it anywhere when we actually are. It just feels so much better to work on those steps first and, trust me, the bravery eases up and the courage eases up, right, because it starts to become who you are.

Speaker 1:

But in the beginning, because it's so new, you need that. You need to be a badass brave bitch. I just made that up. I feel like I'm leaving a voice note to my best friend. I just made that up. I feel like I'm leaving a voice note to my best friend A badass brave bitch. That is it. This is what you're going to do and you're going to go reach that confidence right. It's like my dear friend Sylvia says confidence is a practice, it's not a destination. I am quoting my friend Sylvia Brands because it is true, and to get to that practice of confidence you need to be brave. So I'll leave you with that. I wish you are now going to become a badass. What did I say? A badass brave bitch? I say that with all of the love and good intentions for you in the world.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and let me tell you something If you need support with this in how to find your way, coaching with in how you support yourself from the outside in and the inside out, how to live your best life, then I got you. And if you are on the boat of, oh, but I'm doing, I live such a healthy life and I'm eating well and I'm moving my body, but you don't feel that right, like your energy's off and you don't feel like you're in that confident space and you don't feel like you have, you know, are being brave and all that. Then that's stuff that we can work on together and you deserve it, and it is part of being brave of doing something that's scary, of reaching out for support, at least inquiring as to what that can look like, because you know what makes you extra confident, feeling really good on the inside too, and that's reflected on the outside. So it's 100% worth it. If you want to be brave, if part of your first step at being brave is booking a consultation call, then I invite you to do so. They're 100% free and complimentary.

Speaker 1:

We will go over what your challenges are, what your goals and wishes and desires are, and I will share with you how I'm able to support and help you, and you can ask me any questions you would like about the journey and what it would look like for you. So I invite you to do that. You can book a consultation call with the link in the show notes, or you can just reach out directly to me via email or DM. All the information is in the show notes as well, so I cannot wait to meet you. I cannot wait to hear how you're being brave in order to facilitate your confidence, your wellness, your health and living your best freaking life. I'll see you next week. Y'all Peace out, you badass brave bitches. Peace.