WELLTHY Generation Podcast!

40. You Must Love Yourself More Than Everybody Else

July 04, 2024 • Naihomy Jerez • Episode 40

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Let's talk about why loving yourself more than anyone else and why it’s crucial for holistic health. Learn how to navigate the tough choices of setting boundaries and sometimes saying no to loved ones—all in the name of preserving your well-being. I'll walk you through the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies these life-altering decisions, and how prioritizing your health can transform your interactions with those around you.

I talk about common barriers to self-improvement, such as lack of motivation, time, and financial constraints, and offer practical strategies for overcoming them. Discover how examining your daily expenditures of time and money can reveal opportunities to invest in yourself effectively. Hear inspiring stories from personal experiences and client interactions that emphasize the importance of making mindful financial decisions to support your long-term wellness goals. We also share tips on how to balance supporting your loved ones while still achieving your personal goals.

The episode concludes with a powerful message on the importance of commitment. Learn why being stuck in indecision is more exhausting than jumping in with both feet. If you're ready to take the plunge into a consistent, satisfying wellness journey, consider booking a consultation for personalized guidance on balancing your hormones and healing your body through food and lifestyle changes. I'm here to support you every step of the way and help you live your best life, rooted in wellness.

Episodes mentioned in this recording:

37. Emotions You Will Navigate While Balancing Your Hormones: The Positive & Negative

11. How to Navigate the HARDEST Part of a Wellness Journey

7. Naihomy Celebrates 7 Years of her Health Journey

Thank you so much for listening!
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Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome back to Wealthy Generation Podcast. I've been sitting here in my chair for the past five minutes trying to decide what it was that I wanted to share today, because what I kept asking myself is what do I want you to hear today, what can serve you today? And I know on the podcast I've spoken a lot about, you know hormones and education and all these kinds of things. At first I was like I'm going to share about my own health journey, or wellness journey, and how it found me and why I decided to choose it afterwards and all that. There's an episode similar to it in the podcast already. It's number seven, where I celebrate seven years of my health journey and a lot of the story is there and I'll probably share the story again.

Speaker 1:

But what came to me when I was sitting here thinking what do people really need to know? What is it that you need to know about choosing a lifestyle rooted in wellness, about choosing to change up your habits, to take care of your health, to take care of your hormones. What is it that it takes? And what came to me was or is it kind of shocked me actually, but it's the truth and I sat with it for a little bit. And it's the truth, and it is that if you choose a lifestyle rooted in wellness, where you are going to take care of yourself in a holistic way mind, body, soul, right, you must love yourself more than everybody else. I'll say that again If you decide, or if you want to attempt, or if you want to try, or if you know this is what you want, because you are tired of feeling sick. You are tired of getting diagnoses every single time you go to the doctor, or you're tired of them not telling you what's happening and then, all of a sudden, you're getting diagnoses. You don't feel like yourself anymore. You feel like you're on the struggle bus. Everything you eat hurts your stomach, you are in pain in your body, your joints hurt, your head hurts, your stomach hurts and you're like I am done. I want to change. I want to feel good again. I want to learn. What you need to know when you come on this journey is you need to love yourself more than everybody else. And here's what I mean by that.

Speaker 1:

On a lifestyle change, not a diet, not something you do for four weeks, six weeks, three months, whatever it is. There's an end point to it and you're kind of almost living in a bubble, and it's a bubble that's acceptable by outsiders most of the time, because you're on a diet and it's going to end and you're going to come back eventually to being who you used to be, with your old habits and with your old patterns and with your old choices. Doesn't that even sound like a waste of time? It sounds like a waste of time to me now that I say it like that. So people expect for you to come back. But when you choose to make this a lifestyle for yourself and you live your life on a regular basis, you're not in a bubble. You're around people who used to know you before you chose this lifestyle, who you probably grew up with, who you probably spend time with, are in community with, or you have to be around maybe some colleagues or something like that, even some family members, and they're used to a certain version of you family members and they're used to a certain version of you, and that is going to require for you to do some things that you might not feel too comfortable doing. You might hurt somebody's feelings because if they decide to offer you food or they want to go to a specific place, that no longer aligns with this new lifestyle of yours, this new version of yourself, they might feel a certain way about it. You might have to set boundaries, you might need to say no, you might need to skip a few events. Skip a few events. Whatever it is, it's going to.

Speaker 1:

When you choose to make this a lifestyle is going to involve other people, and that is usually what becomes hard in a health journey, and I know now that I think about it. I have another episode on the podcast called the hardest part of a health and wellness journey, and it is the community aspect, when you are around other people. So, because we love so much, because we care about so many our parents, our friends, um, maybe not care, but we feel us, we feel some sort of way making others uncomfortable. So we decide to make ourselves uncomfortable, we decide to limit ourselves for the sake of the comfort of others it can be our spouse, our own kids and we have to make choices to protect and keep our health top of mind. And that's what I mean when I say you have to love yourself more than everybody else.

Speaker 1:

Now, it doesn't mean that you don't care about everybody. It doesn't mean that you're not going to be there. You're not going to be a good friend, spouse, whatever your titles are. However, you show up for people, even your own children. It doesn't mean that you're not going to be there for them anymore, that you're not going to show up for them, but what it means is that you're going to have to run this by you to see if it is also in alignment with your health, with your wellness, with your hormones, with your mind, with your peace, with your sanity, with your joy. It is something you are going to have to run through you first, loving yourself first, before you go ahead and jump and make a decision to honor what somebody else needs from you.

Speaker 1:

And that is not easy. And I tell you that is not easy because not only have I been through it myself in my own wellness journey, all of my clients in my own wellness journey, all of my clients, every single one of them. This is the hardest part. It is easy to go to the supermarket and choose one product over the other. It is easy. Well, not for everybody, right, I'm doing a gross generalization here but on the scale of how uncomfortable it is generally for my clients and what it was for myself, it was just a lot easier to either make time to go to the gym, cook a meal, something like that, than to say no to somebody Then to say, no, thank you, I don't want to drink. To say no, thank you, I don't want whatever cookies you're offering me or candy that you're offering me. No, thank you. It is a lot harder to be like hey mom, sorry, I'm going to be an hour late to do whatever errand you want me to run because I have my gym appointment first. Right. It is a lot harder to be like hey boo, watch the kids, I'm out, I'm going to the gym, I'm going to go buy groceries. Hey, boo, take care of the kids, I'm going to go make some food.

Speaker 1:

And also bringing in the mom guilt and the shame for not being that primary person taking care of young kids because you are taking time to go take care of yourself, to go take care of yourself to have your own needs met. It's a lot harder to set boundaries at work, to delegate, to reprioritize, to speak to the higher ups, to say that things need to get taken off your plate because it's just too much and you don't deserve, nor is it humanly kind or whatever it is to be up at all hours of the night trying to complete work just because it is scary to delegate and to set boundaries and to communicate. All of that is so much harder because it involves other people. It involves other people's feelings, it involves other people's opinions of you and it involves the made up thoughts that you have about what other people are saying about you. That's the worst part, because people might not be thinking anything about you and here we go, the brain will brain and it's going to be like oh, she's doing this and look at her, and look at that and it's probably not true. So, going back to ourselves and that is always so much more difficult than saying I'm choosing peanut butter with no added sugars and oils Well, I'm not choosing that and I'm choosing a clean peanut butter that just has peanuts and salt or just peanuts. I'm choosing to add a vegetable to my meal today versus not, right. I am choosing to go on a walk today versus sitting down and watching TV Right. Those are your own personal actions for you to do. But as soon as it involves another human, even pets, right. It becomes an issue and we tend to bypass how we feel and how we're going to feel for making those choices for the sake of not making somebody else uncomfortable. Okay, and that's what I was like. This is what I need everybody to know that it involves so much more than food and exercise. You can Google this. So much more than food and exercise. You can Google this my gosh information overload on how to eat well and a gazillion recipes and exercises to do Everything is $3.99 on the internet.

Speaker 1:

You can YouTube something and you can get it in all forms. You can get it in audio through podcasts. You can get it in books. You can get it in blogs. You can get it in videos on YouTube. Like you can get this information in the best fit for you to learn for free.

Speaker 1:

And I always ask myself and I always ask myself and I always ask others. If you know, this is what you should be doing, at least to start, then what is stopping you? And a lot of things that come up is like I'm motivation or I'm not disciplined, or I don't have time or I don't like it. You know I don't have time or I don't like it, and those are all fair and totally valid. I used to use a lot of those too, but when we go in a few levels down and we poke the bear or we, you know, unravel the onion, or however it is that you want to say it. The truth is that there's something underneath that. There's something underneath oh, I'm just not consistent. There's something underneath oh, I just don't like it. There's something or I don't have time. There's something underneath, underneath there, that involves you putting yourself first versus protecting somebody else's emotions and feelings and thoughts about you. I, I, it's, it's. I can almost say it's a 100% true fact, just by my own experiences and those of so many of my clients that we have gone through or that we have gone through these conversations.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that comes up might be money, too, and it's like, oh, I don't have the money or it's too expensive or I don't want to spend it on this. But, number one, go follow money experts or people who can help you with that. If you have those thoughts, I myself hired a money coach for that. But at the same time, it's analyzing where are you spending your money and is it having a return on your investment? Do you actually need it? Are you spending money on certain things just because it makes you feel better? What else can make you feel better? Can you invest in something else that's going to be so much more fruitful and not just give you that little hit of dopamine of happiness and then it's forgotten and then you don't get that hit again until you go out again and purchase something?

Speaker 1:

How about if you shift where you spend your money obviously within what within your means that's what I meant to say within your means to something that can give you a more long lasting return on your investment? That is also loving on yourself. Okay, I know my money coach. She has people make buckets and she includes a family and friends bucket for you to save money in case they also need support. Right, we're not denying that and that we want to support our families in that way, but how are you supporting yourself as well? Everything cannot go there, or there are other solutions to that. I actually reached out to her when a family member needed financial support and I was like how can I support her without not hindering myself, but but with also maintaining my goals and my capacity of mind? Right, and she helped me through that. So everything goes back to that where you are going to consistently have to choose, have to run things by yourself to see if it's within this new alignment.

Speaker 1:

Now I'll say that is very strong and prominent in the beginning of a health journey, because people are getting to know your new choices and your new decisions and your new lifestyle. Not that you need to make an announcement and stand outside and be like, hey, everybody, and make this whole big deal about it, but because of how you start to choose yourself, they're going to start to notice your new values and your new decisions and what you like now and what you don't like, and eventually that's going to become their new normal of you and most of the time they're even going to cater to that and they'll be like oh no, she likes these kinds of seltzers, or you know, we always need to have vegetables because so-and-so is coming. Those are things that have happened to me, right? But and and I'll say this when you choose yourself first, when you choose to love yourself first, when you're adopting a lifestyle rooted in wellness, it comes with a lot of emotions, and it comes with a lot of emotions that might feel good and some that won't. And again, I have another podcast episode that talks about the emotions the positive and negative emotions that we go through on a health journey, so I encourage you to also go listen to that one. A lot of references to past episodes here, so put them on your queue so that they'll start rolling in for you.

Speaker 1:

But there's going to be emotions that don't feel so good. Right, you might feel guilty, you might feel shame, you might feel embarrassed, you might feel like you're the most or doing too much, or what are people going to say or think, or things like that, right. But there's also going to be emotions that are going to really help you continue to choose yourself first, because all of a sudden you're going to be so proud of yourself. All of a sudden you're going to start to see results. You're going to start to see how much more confident you are in setting those boundaries, in protecting yourself. You're going gonna see how much more trust you build with yourself, because oftentimes we don't have confidence, we don't have trust, we don't believe that we can do something, because we are always just riding the waves of other people's wants, needs and emotions. We're just always riding those waves and we're just going along for the ride instead of taking control and autonomy and groundedness into what it is that we want and how do we fit into the equation along with everybody else.

Speaker 1:

So when you start to feel proud and confident and trusting of your decisions, you get to trust yourself, you get to believe in yourself. Those are such grounding emotions that you might feel the other ones now and again, but you also know how good it feels and how it doesn't keep you up at night to choose yourself, at least in the long run. It doesn't keep you up at night to choose yourself, at least in the, the deep rooted decision or choice that will consciously or unconsciously be made when you decide to really protect your health, really protect how you feel in your body. Because what eventually happens is that when we continue to put others first, when we just continue to eat how others want us to eat, to do activities that others want us to do, when we don't do something that's health promoting for ourselves, because other people need us all the time, what eventually starts to happen is that we start to feel really not okay in our body. Like I was mentioning in the beginning, we're always tired, we're always bloated, we're resentful, we don't have that much patience, we're not sleeping well, we are really not being the person who we really want to be for others.

Speaker 1:

So what's the point, anyway? Like, if you are not showing up as your best self, if you are not showing up how you really would like to, with a smile on your face, with energy, able to play, not feeling like you have a migraine or a stomach ache, when, whatever activity you want to do, you're hanging out with your spouse, you're hanging out with your kids, with friends, right? How much better would it be if you showed up in your full, in your full, authentic, grounded self, because you have taken the time that you think you just need to be dedicating to everybody else, all the time for yourself. And then, those moments where you are in community with other people, you are that best version of yourself, not only for you, but for them as well. That is such a gift. It is such a gift first letting others see how beautiful it is to be confident and to have trust and to really take the time to care for you.

Speaker 1:

The energy that you have, the vibrancy in your skin, in your eyes, and the way that you carry yourself, you move, you'd speak to others. People start to notice that and they start to get curious, and you start to give them permission to get curious too, and you start to give them permission that it's okay for them to love themselves first and do that for themselves as well. So don't underestimate the energy and the power that comes with loving yourself first and demonstrating that. Demonstrating that, modeling that for others, right, it's so much about you that, at the end of the day, is not about you. It really is about your love for everybody else, because when you feel well and when you show up as yourself, others start to do the same. And it is actually beautiful to see a lot of my clients who have struggled with this at first and now how there are family members, there are so many people in their own community who are benefiting from all the work that they have been doing on themselves. I mean parents, caretakers, community groups, students, like friends. So many people get to benefit from you loving on yourself, from you feeling good in your own skin, from you not being in pain and being able to be fully present because you are not preoccupied with feeling ill in your body and being so confident in your choices and your decisions that make you feel that way. It is magnetizing, I promise you. I promise it happens over and over again. And it's such a beautiful thing because, as selfish as it might seem, as you, you you first as it might seem eventually you grow a community around you who joins you and with that, friends. I am going to wish you a very nice week and I'll also invite you to.

Speaker 1:

If you are not participating in this lifestyle yet, if you are having a hard time and you have these very surface level thoughts about why it's hard for you to choose a lifestyle and wellness, why it's hard for you to move your body, to eat a certain way, to set your boundaries anywhere in your life, anywhere in your life to really prioritize your health and your well-being, if you're having a hard time with that and it's year after year, the same thoughts, the same excuses that show up for you and it's harder to half-ass something than to just jump in.

Speaker 1:

It's harder to half-ass something than to just jump in.

Speaker 1:

Both are hard, but going on this back and forth of one foot you're in, one foot you're out, like this whole double dutch. I'm trying to jump in but I'm scared that takes a lot more energy and exhaustion to be like back and forth, back and forth, than just jumping in and get going steady on it. And if you need support with that, if you are done doing it by yourself, if you have tried everything up to this point and nothing has either stuck or remained consistent or felt good, I invite you to book a consultation to see if we are a good fit so I can be your food and hormone health coach and I can teach you how to use food and lifestyle to balance your hormones, heal your body and really, really, really live your best life rooted in wellness. If you're looking to where to book your consultation, you can find the link in the show notes. You can DM me or go to the link in bio on Instagram at Naomi Jerez, and I will talk to you soon. I'm excited to chat. Bye.