WELLTHY Generation Podcast!

81. Encouraging and Supporting Loved Ones on Their Wellness Journey

• Naihomy Jerez • Episode 81

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We explore how to support loved ones on their wellness journeys without creating resistance or shame. When we experience positive health transformations, it's natural to want our family and friends to join us, but timing and approach matter tremendously.

• Understanding that everyone's wellness timeline differs – what motivated you might not motivate them
• Recognizing barriers like embarrassment, fear of change, generational trauma around food, and ingrained limiting beliefs
• Avoiding constant criticism, blame, or shame when loved ones don't make health changes
• Using invitations instead of instructions – invite them to try new foods or join activities without pressure
• Sharing knowledge at appropriate moments when they express curiosity rather than forcing information
• Leading by example and continuing your wellness journey regardless of whether others join you
• Acknowledging that individual needs differ based on age, hormones, and life circumstances
• Respecting autonomy while still creating opportunities for others to experience wellness benefits

If you've been wanting to lose weight your way, one last time, without shame or overwhelm, or if your hormones or perimenopause has you feeling disconnected, I invite you to book a free consultation call for my three-month program. Send me a DM on Instagram or email hola@naihomyjerez.com to learn more.


Thank you so much for listening!


Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome back to Wealthy Generation Podcast. That's W-E-L-L-T-H-Y. Wealthy. By the way, if you have gotten anything out of this podcast, if you've learned something, applied, something that has helped you, or you just really enjoy it, I would be so, so, so grateful if you rate it on Spotify or rate it and leave a review on Apple or wherever you're listening to it. It takes time and sharing to grow podcasts and to get the information out there, and I know that sometimes the way I speak about health and wellness can be a little unique and different. I speak about health and wellness can be a little unique and different. So, even if you want to share episodes with loved ones or friends who might find this useful, I will really, really really appreciate, if you feel called to, for your time in leaving a review or rating it. So thank you so much. All right, let's get into this week's episode I want to talk about today, when you want to involve a loved one or introduce them.

Speaker 1:

Loved one or friend, whoever to go on their own wellness journey or to join you in what you're doing, and it's a conversation I have with every single one of my clients. It never, ever fails where they all of a sudden want to have mom or dad or a sibling, a friend, somebody join like start their own health and wellness journey. And it's happened to me as well. When I first started and as I was going through my own journey, I was like, oh my God, I want my mom or whoever to join me on this journey or to implement some of these things that I'm doing. And this is because some of these things that I'm doing and this is because what normally, what usually happens, is that my client starts to learn all this knowledge about food, food labels, how food makes them feel, about their blood sugar, their hormones, and they start to feel better and reverse so many symptoms or illnesses right that they deemed they couldn't do anything about, it was hereditary, their mom has it, their aunt has it right, and they were just like, oh yeah, me too, because it's generational right, or it's hereditary, not necessarily generational, it's hereditary. So yeah, and while we do our work together through one-on-one coaching or coaching in general, whether it's a group program or what have you, what my client starts to experience is that now they have this knowledge base of new, of wellness right and wellness like I'm not talking about face masks and massages and sound like those are all great too, but I'm talking about real, like, scientific backed. How do you create or how do you use food and lifestyle for healing? That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

So when they start to implement these things, they reverse their prediabetes, they no longer have joint pain, they get rid of their acne, they have no painful periods or they get their periods back. They reverse or, like, heal their PCOS or have it more under control. You, you know it's more under control. There's just they have a better experience with perimenopause compared to other family members in previous generations. They bring their blood pressure back to normal, their cholesterol back to normal, they fit in clothes again and reduce their belly fat in significant ways. So these are just a few examples of, let's say, results that my clients have gotten, that they've probably family members of past generations have experienced, or what have you.

Speaker 1:

So when they start to experience these things and they notice that the changes are actually not that difficult to implement and they can keep up with them in their culture, in their lifestyle, in a busy life, then all of a sudden they're like, oh my gosh, I have to teach this to X, y, z, loved one. I want them to also be healthy. I know that they're suffering from these things. I want them to heal. I want them to feel better in their skin. I don't want them to be out of breath. I don't want them to continue suffering. I don't want them to continue adding to the amount of prescription drugs that they are already taking, or the other way around too. I want to teach this to loved ones who are younger than me, to prevent them from even being in my position or the position of later generations. I want to pass down this information to them now, so that they are equally as well as me. And that is heavy, right, because you see loved ones suffering and now you have this information you want to share that you yourself have gotten results from, and you're like but but but just do this, just do that Now.

Speaker 1:

It's tough because most of the time, especially in the beginning, what my clients want to involve loved ones, they're not as receptive experience why they might be avoiding these kinds of things. You know, like this kind of lifestyle and just like where they are in their journey. And this is very general. Let's say, everything that I'm going to talk about, either I have experienced or my clients have experienced to a certain extent, but it can be many, many different reasons as to why or why not loved ones have joined or have been encouraged to make changes with their own health and recently I've been having conversations with my clients about their partners is another one. Like you have a partner and you want to grow old and well together and you're here making all these changes or feeling better and you want your partner to do the same so that you both feel well and you both are actually active and healthy, and all that. So it has ranged everywhere, from parents, who are a big, big one, to siblings, to partners who are also a big big one, and then like children or nieces and nephews, or another one where they want to influence generations.

Speaker 1:

So bear with me here as I kind of go into the different sections of what can you do when you want to do something like this, why they might be avoiding it right and why they may or may not be implementing these changes. I try to organize it as best I can, just so that that is a little bit more clear to understand. That is a little bit more clear to understand. But yeah, let's, let's get into it. So I'm going to leave, what to do for last or things I've tried or my clients have tried.

Speaker 1:

Let me start by saying that we need to respect everybody's wellness journey, everybody's journey period. Everybody gets motivated by different things. Everybody has their own life experience and sometimes they embark on these journeys. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes the pace of it is slower than you would want, but is right for them. Sometimes they're not implementing as many things as you would like, but is right for them. Sometimes they're not implementing as many things as you would like, but is what their capacity allows them to do. So I want you to keep all these things in mind as we're going through this conversation, because not everybody is going to be super receptive to the information that you are providing for them. They might not even care.

Speaker 1:

To be honest, and, to be frank, it probably took you some time to want to take action in your health and wellness, and you know why. I know this Because I've spoken to clients on consultation calls and they don't join one-on-one coaching. And then, a year later, it's happened like. I can't even tell you how many times it's happened where. At minimum three times you. How many times it's happened where? At minimum three times. Where I speak to somebody and they're like, no, no, no, I'll do it on my own or I don't need this, or whatever have you? The reason is, and then a year later, they come back and they sign up and they have a wonderful experience and then they're like, oh my gosh, I don't know why I didn't sign up for the first time, but it's fine.

Speaker 1:

The reason why is because they were not ready yet, and that's often what happens with our loved ones, where they are not ready yet. So when you are, when we're working together and you're learning all these things, and now you want your loved ones to join you, you've already done so much work to get to where you are. You've already processed and thought and felt and had your own personal experiences that brought you to this moment of I want to do this now. Or I'm deciding to do this now, or I'm going to pull the trigger now. Whatever have you. So to go from, not like where you are in coaching, it might've taken you years and years and years of trial and error, of disappointment, of scary experiences, all of these different things of just having a different level of knowledge and education, sometimes having another experience with trauma or growing up or things like that that has brought you to that moment, and usually with loved ones. They're probably not there yet and you want them to be, because you want them to start getting the results and the healing that you are also experiencing also experiencing, but it's not that simple a lot of times to get them to just do what you're telling them or join you, because they are just not ready yet in their journey. So why might it be hard for people to make these kinds of changes? And let's see, I'm reading through my notes because I tried to write this down, but I wrote way too many things. So give them what I usually say is or actually I'm going to go back to why might they be avoiding this type of journey? So number one is what I just spoke about that they're just not ready for the journey right now, and it has been no different from you. So I would just say plant the seeds right. They will eventually grow and evolve the same way that it has for you, and I'm going to give you some tips on that.

Speaker 1:

Some people might just feel embarrassed or scared of change. How scary is change? How scary is it to sign up for one-on-one coaching right On food and hormones, how, how, maybe scared, embarrassed, shameful, whatever have you. It is to realize that, unknowingly to you, that you have done some things and then your health have turned out a certain way, where sometimes it's like we can't blame ourselves for things that we do not know, things that we have grown up with. This is exactly what I try and instill in my clients. It's like there's no shame. We all come to this moment of wanting to learn and pivot at different times and it's just something that we don't know. So a lot of people feel embarrassed about where they are with their health and they don't want to face it. It's really like the first thing that needs to happen to create change is just accepting and admitting where you are and then wanting to take empowered action after that. And some people are just not ready because the embarrassment or the shame is just too strong and they might be comfortable where they are too, whether you know it or not. Some people are very comfortable in their discomfort and they kind of don't want to do anything about it because that's how they've experienced life all this time and it's too scary to try and change that and try to find themselves again, because oftentimes that's kind of what happens in this journey, where you kind of have to find yourself again and you have to let go of, maybe, things that really brought you joy or comfort for a good part of your life. Right Another thing hopping in on that is the generational trauma or bringing beliefs that you might have that are so, so strong.

Speaker 1:

I know a lot of times, at least from my experience with my own loved ones they are team, eat all the food and don't waste food and save money, so buy the cheapest thing at the supermarket. And it's not because they want to be like that and they chose that. It's literally because of the way they grew up, where food was scarce, food was scarce to come by. They didn't know where their next meal was coming from. Maybe they had just one meal a day. So, yes, they would finish their plate. Yes, there was no food that was going to be thrown away. You had to take advantage of those opportunities. Opportunities because food was really not as abundant now, like for them before, as it was now. And realizing that and letting go of that like belief that kept them safe for so long and as children where, like, a lot of these beliefs are cemented. It's really difficult to look at a plate and decide and know that you're full and that you're not going to continue eating and that it's safe to put this food away because now we have refrigeration and ways to heat things back up. That is fairly easy and it might sound like I'm making fun of or like or something like that, but I'm really, really, really not.

Speaker 1:

My family members and loved ones come from the Dominican Republic in the country, and they didn't have access to just modern refrigeration and modern stoves and all this, everything and just supermarkets that you can just grab whatever in. It's a different experience. So, especially for our older generations, it can be a lot to go on a health journey where you're trying to help them not overeat or pointing things out like that. For them it can be pretty scary, Um, and it might feel unsafe for them to leave food behind. Okay, because your parents might've had their own experiences. I know of my Asian friends who their parents went through war and it was so unsafe and it was traumatic and they didn't know where they were going to find food.

Speaker 1:

So, living in the US now where food is so, so, so abundant, and they might have the money now to purchase certain things. Thoughts and beliefs are so deeply ingrained in us that that is the main block in creating change. Money was also not abundant like that, and this is where I get into. You know, like most of the time, our generation has more access to money and different careers and things like that, where we do have the resources to invest in our health in different ways, whether it is through investing in coaching or personal training or certain supplements or, you know, or foods that are of better quality or something like that and because we grew up with our parents where it was survival only and they had to put food on the table and other kinds of wellness experiences were seen as a luxury, it's hard for us too, and, believe it or not, a lot of the work I do with my clients is not in just like teaching somebody a food label or why one food product might benefit their health more than another.

Speaker 1:

That's the easy part. It's very straightforward. Science is behind it. The hard part the difficult part, the part that takes time is the mindset piece and the beliefs and the thoughts that come up when they don't take advantage of a sale of something that's three, four, five or they are worried about spending an extra $3 for a food product that might be better for their health. Um, they have the resources and the funding and they want to invest in a personal trainer, but they don't, because they view it as frivolous or as a luxury or things like that. So that's where a lot of the work happens, and this is what I feel like stops a lot of people in their tracks from really living a life rooted in wellness, and they're not even realizing it.

Speaker 1:

And all these crash diets or other kinds of methods whether it's injections or pills or shakes or challenges, or all of that is very short lived because they really do not address the root of why we don't continue with whatever it is, aside from the fact that most of the things are super, super, super unsustainable, okay, another reason is whether it might be hard for them to take action is that some people just need to experience life firsthand to take action Point blank, like they need a scare where they end up in the hospital or they end up somewhere that's a little traumatic for them and they realize that their body is really going to break down if you don't take care of it. And then it's like, oh shit, I need to do something about this. I can't just ignore it. I'm just not going to be okay, like I need to take action and hopefully is not too late. And with modern medicine usually you can reverse that. But sometimes it might be right and it just takes that traumatic experience for someone to decide to make a change.

Speaker 1:

I know of people who've needed open heart surgery as an emergency or are dealing with a lot of health issues that they probably did not need to because they didn't take care of their health or think it was important or knew otherwise or something like that, and again, it's to no fault of their own. Everybody experiences their own journey, the way that they have the capacity for, and some people just really don't want to. Some people don't want to. Some people they see their loved ones struggling, they see what their family members had needed to go through and how hard it's been. Or they have also experienced something traumatic with their own health and they still choose not to do anything about it. And I know that that is so painful to watch. It's like literally watching a train wreck that you're like, hey, the brake is right here, all you have to do is pull this lever. But sometimes people just don't want to, and we have to respect that. Okay, we have to respect it.

Speaker 1:

So I'll tell you some things to avoid when these kinds of things are happening. And it's avoiding to consistently pointing out what they can do better, right? It's like don't eat this because it has too much sugar, don't eat that because you're prediabetic, like your diabetes. Don't do this, don't do that, don't do that. And consistently pointing out to people like something that that quote unquote they're doing wrong or that they will affect their health, can fill them up with more embarrassment and shame, because they probably do know and understand that they shouldn't be doing that or that's causing adding on to their health issues, and they choose to do it anyway, right? So don't consistently point things out that they can be doing better or things that they are doing wrong. Also, don't blame them for how they're feeling.

Speaker 1:

We don't want to pile on and blame them. You see, because you're eating this way, because you don't move, because this, this is why you feel like crap, this is why your diabetes is over the roof, this is why you know X, y, z. It can be super frustrating, but this is where we need to manage our own emotions and our own feelings, because it can be more hurtful than it is helpful for them, and don't shame them for not doing anything about it. What we need to do again is manage our own emotions around that and our own feelings around that, because it can make things worse for the other person when we're shaming them of like I told you to do this and you're not doing that. You don't care. This is why you're in the situation that you're in, so we want to take it lightly. Of course, there is space and time for deep, honest conversations around this topic, but we really do want it to come from a place of love and honesty and more of sharing how you feel, instead of blaming or shaming the other person. So I'm going to share with you ways that I've encouraged, motivated I don't even know how they felt about it, I guess is encouraged or introduce them to things in wellness that I think will serve them. And I share with my clients as well in different situations.

Speaker 1:

The number one thing that I do is I invite people. When you give somebody an invitation, like when you receive an invitation, then it's up to you to decide to go or not to go. It's an RSVP, right, like you're not forcing anyone. You're inviting them and then it's their decision if they're going to show up or not. So, for example, I've had lots of loved ones and lots of friends tell me they don't eat a gazillion things. They don't eat beans, potatoes, brown rice, brussels sprouts, broccoli, avocado. The list goes on and on and on and on of what people have told me that they don't eat, for example. And anytime I've made that kind of food at home and they're here or we're at a holiday event like Christmas or something like that, I just invite people to try it.

Speaker 1:

Usually, if we're having a conversation about it, I'll ask them like oh, why don't you like it? You want to be curious, you want to understand if they've had a terrible experience with this food before or they have certain food aversions to textures and tastes and how things are made and things like that. Just like, find out a little bit without judgment. It's just curiosity and trying to get to know the person in a new way. So sometimes I'll ask that it's like what's your experience with this food? Do you like it or not? And most of the time they've had, it's either a texture thing or they've had a really bad experience with that food in the past. So usually what I do is I say, oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense, and I'll say something like I made this version of whatever the food is in a different way, with different seasonings. So I invite you to give it a try if you would like. I think that you would like it.

Speaker 1:

When people have tried it before they have enjoyed it, I will say this I'll say sometimes in the first try might not be the best because you have these preconceived thoughts in your mind. Your palate is tasting it for the first time. So what I would encourage you to do, if you do decide to try it, is taste it like three times and if after the first third time you really hate it, then you, you're good Like you. You did what you had to do, which was give it a try, right? So there's no pressure for the person, it's an invitation. You're giving them a little bit of guidance by letting them know that the first time they try it they might not love it. That to give it a little bit of a shot, that their thoughts might be getting in the way the first time. So just really sit with it and see how they enjoy it. That's with food, usually with movement is the same thing.

Speaker 1:

Invite people to go with you, whether it's on a walk, a gym class, whatever it is. If you invite somebody to something you love and that's all you say, you're not like, oh, this is so good for your blood sugar and we should always be walking. There's always a time and a place for that. It doesn't have to be when it's first starting off. It could just be like hey, dad, I'm going out for a walk. I would love it if you would join me. Would you like to come? See? Invitation. If it's a girlfriend that can probably keep up with you in your gym class, hey, friend, I have a free gym pass. I would love it if you would join me. Do you want to come with me? Invitation. You are there with them. You are introducing them to new experiences. That's really important.

Speaker 1:

Remember how we spoke about how people grew up their thoughts, generational trauma, limiting beliefs. So if you are ready on this journey, you know and you have seen the benefits of it and you want other people who you know it would be helpful for for to join you, then invite them in a way that's nonjudgmental and preachy. That's nonjudgmental and preachy and, like you should be doing X, y, z, invite them, plant those seeds, show them the new experiences, let them develop their own thoughts around it, let it settle in right as you go on your journey, all right, and maybe check in with them how did you like it, what was your experience? So on and so forth. Number two right Like in ways you can help is look for those opportunities to share the knowledge, and I'm not saying going back to like things to avoid doing is to be very preachy and it's at the right moment. Like right moment, right time, and maybe they are the ones that are curious about it and they're asking you. Or if they're noticing something different happening with them, be like oh my God, I felt so much better after I went on that walk with you. I didn't even need the energy drink I used to have or that extra cup of coffee. I actually felt energized. Then maybe, given the situation and your loved one, you can share why the walk helped them feel that way. Right, so you can make suggestions, you can share things that are interesting to you or help them connect the dots when it's an appropriate time for that. Right, it's a slow process. Meet them where they are at in their journey, all right.

Speaker 1:

The next one is lead by example Number three. Okay, continue to live your life rooted in wellness. Continue to follow your journey, your path, your goals, right. Other people will notice your energy, your light, how you feel will be evident to them. People are curious. You become magnetic, you become energetic. They see your joy and how you've changed and how you look right and they might ask you what you've done to look and feel and move the way you do. They might be so curious because when people are well and in good health, that is attractive. You have a different energy. You have a different glow and you've done nothing more than to take really good care of yourself. Glow and you've done nothing more than to take really good care of yourself. It is evident to other people and they're like damn, you know what? What are they drinking? What's the Kool-Aid? I want to know what. What are they having? And this is another opportunity for you to share.

Speaker 1:

Okay, what I will say is that what happens a lot of times is that because the loved one that you want to join you on this journey is not ready to make the changes that you want them to make or to join you at your cadence, then you slow yourself down right, or you don't keep incorporating the things that you have to do for your own journey and remember everybody's individual. So even what you might need might not be exactly what the other person needs also. So I always encourage you mind your business, continue on your journey, continue on your path. If there are certain foods you need, if there's certain movements you need, continue to do that and lead. This goes back to the lead by example right, where you are doing this in front of them, are doing this in front of them, and by that I mean when it's the holidays, when you're out at a restaurant, when you go to that happy hour where you're being served in a buffet.

Speaker 1:

Right, the hardest part of the journey is being yourself, living your life rooted in wellness, in front of other people, especially people who you've consistently been around. And now you've created change in yourself. Remember going back to what holds some people back. You've created this change and people start commenting on it. Or they're like, oh, you're different, or you used to eat like this, or you did not go to the gym consistently, or whatever. Have you right, did not go to the gym consistently or whatever, have you right, Model this for them. It's the same thing like if you have children or little people in your life or pets right, model it for them. You do not have to say a word to the other person of what they are doing or not doing, of what they're doing or not doing when you model it for them. People pay attention. They want to be nosy AF most of the time on what you're doing, especially when they notice that things are a little bit different. It's like oh, you've lost a couple of pounds. Oh, my gosh, your acne went away. Oh, you have so much energy. You look so well, rested, right, you look like you're glowing and you're not even wearing makeup. Dude, right. So people will notice.

Speaker 1:

Lead by example. Continue to live your life rooted in wellness. You don't need to kind of slow down on your end to have everybody else catch up. You can continue to be grounded, to be humble, to do your thing and I promise you people will want to join you and come along. But going back to being respectful of their capacity and their own journey and also knowing that what they need might not be what you need and vice versa, because I've run into situations where, let's say, is a mom with young children and they want to manage their carbohydrates the same way that they are, and it's like no, no, we also need to understand the individual, what we need individually in our perspective.

Speaker 1:

Genders right or maybe gender is not a right word Like what would be the right word. If you know, send it to me, because I know that gender can be switched. But like, what is your ruling hormone in your body? I think somebody has mentioned it in the way before of are you a penis owner or are you a vagina owner? I think that's a good way to put it, because then it's like, depending on what the ruling hormone is in your body, your body might need something different. It also depends on your age. It also depends, especially for females, where you are in your reproductive years. Are you in your twenties? Are you, you know, getting ready to conceive? Are you in perimenopause? These things look different.

Speaker 1:

So just because something is working for you and you need a specific type of, let's say, combination on your plate or something like that, does not mean that it is the same exact for someone else. Let's say, is your husband or your children, or something like that. They might need something different. So knowing the difference is also important, because sometimes it's like, oh, I want you to do it this way, like this. What's worked for me, that's great, but it might not be for everybody else, and this is why my work is so personalized to that specific person and I don't necessarily give out general advice, because for things to work for you, I need to know a lot of details about you and how you feel and how you process, manage your stress, and what does your day-to-day look like, what kind of job you have. There's so much to take into consideration and this is why I practice holistic health, holistic healing, because it is your whole body and your life experience and that looks different for everybody, right, it just looks different. So you continue to lead by example.

Speaker 1:

You can manage your emotions about what your loved one is doing or not doing, but there are opportunities to invite them, to introduce them, to hold their hand, to share information in a way that it is empowering for them as well, instead of guilt tripping, shaming, embarrassing Okay, even for your kids as well. You don't want to scare them about food and eating and things like that. You want to educate them and you want to help them understand how sometimes what they're feeling in their body is connected to stuff that they ate and we're not taught that right, and respect their fullness levels and certain things, but we also don't want to scare them or restrict them and cause some sort of eating disorder because of what we're telling them might or might not happen, like we also want to have boundaries and awareness around that. So I hope this was helpful, especially if you're on this journey and you're like, oh my God, I want my mom this, I want my auntie that, right. There are so many different ways to implement.

Speaker 1:

And when I work with my clients one-on-one and they share with me what's happening, I also work with them on strategies, on how to invite them or how to support them in a way that is empowering and encouraging, right, but we would need to speak about that specific situation. So if that's something that you're interested in, if you are really wanting to work on yourself and create those generational health patterns right, like wealthy generations, whether that's the generations before you or after you then that's something we can definitely discuss as part of one-on-one food and hormone health coaching. If you have not heard, my three month program is back until July. So if you're interested in working for 12 weeks together, that is now available and I invite you to book a consultation call right, I think that we can redefine weight loss together, we can support your hormones and we can also discuss how to build your best life rooted in wellness.

Speaker 1:

If you have been wanting to lose weight your way, one last time, without shame or overwhelm, we can work together. You're using things like weight loss injections and you want to create real sustainable habits for the longterm with those tools, then that's something we can work on as well. One-on-one coaching is for you. And if your hormones or perimenopause has you feeling super disconnected, unsure what works for you anymore, what's actually healthy anymore for you, we should work together.

Speaker 1:

And if you're done with the all or nothing diets right and you want sustainable wellness that includes your culture, your joy, your social life like actually living your life, and also going through the mindset stuff that I spoke about these limiting beliefs like thoughts you grew up with, thoughts you've inherited then this is also a great opportunity for one-on-one food and hormone health coaching. If you're interested in working together, I invite you to book a free consultation call with the link in the show notes. You are also welcome to send me a DM on Instagram or an email at hola at naomijerascom, and we can discuss and I can help you through the process. All right, I hope this has been helpful. I hope you go out here and live lead by example as you support your loved ones in their health and wellness journey as well. I'll see you next week. Bye.