30. Why NOT Investing In Wellness & Lack of Inclusivity is Hurting Women Of Color with Nadila

When Nadila's journey toward better health hit a roadblock with Hashimoto's, she found that the path to wellness is anything but straight. This episode brings that reality to light with as Nadila, an expert in the diversity, equity, and inclusion space, shares how the convergence of wellness and identity shapes the experiences of women of color. Together, we navigate the challenges of finding inclusive fitness communities and the strength it takes to challenge societal beauty standards. We celebrate resilience, like that of a 70-year-old cancer survivor who still hits the gym, and explore how such stories can inspire our own wellness paths.

Nadila's accounts of non-inclusive fitness classes and the importance of spaces where everyone feels valued set the tone for a discussion that moves beyond the superficial layers of health. We tackle the practical side of wellness too — managing the costs, prioritizing health investments, and the power of writing down personal visions. Our conversation is an intimate look at how personal aspirations intertwine with wellness, and how women of color, in particular, navigate their unique barriers to achieve holistic self-care.

As we wrap up, we extend gratitude to Nadila for her insights and remind our listeners that wellness is a shared journey, rich with community support and empowering discussions. This episode serves as a resource for anyone looking to prioritize their well-being, embrace their strengths, and find joy in their wellness narrative. Join us as we affirm that the pursuit of health is not a solo venture, but a collective endeavor filled with inspiring stories and invaluable lessons.

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Transcript

Naihomy: 1:16

Hey friends, welcome back to the wealthy generation podcast. As always, it is wealthy W E L L T H Y. Today I am back with one of your most favorite guests. She has been the most listened to guests on this podcast. I am so excited to have her back. Nadila is here, hey.

Nadila: 1:39

Nadila, hey Naomi and hey fans of Naomi. I'm so excited to be back and today I'm not going to be talking about my. Well, we might talk a little bit about my experience and your experience, naomi, but today I'm really here as a diversity, equity and inclusion strategist and also consultant, and I'm going to be here today to talk a little bit about. How is that relevant to wellness?

Naihomy: 2:08

Yes, nadila reached out to me and she's like Naomi. I want to talk more about wellness and what does it look like for the women of color community, especially with her expertise in her career and how she has tied it all together with her personal journey and what she's seeing in our community. So I'm very grateful and I'm really, really, really excited for this conversation. All right, so where would you like to start? We have some notes and I'm reading through those. I'm like wait, I can't read and talk at the same time.

Nadila: 2:47

Well, let's talk a little bit about you know why? Why I wanted to talk to you about this conversation. So today's conversation is going to be focused on like exploring and navigating and prioritizing your wellness journey as it relates to your identity, and I wanted to tell a story here. So one of the things that Naomi and I worked on when I was a client for her is that my definition of wellness has changed through time, and one of the things I decided to focus on this year was I'm going to try out new workout classes. Yeah, and I did something kind of crazy, but not crazy.

Nadila: 3:25

I started going to this bar class, which I used to like pre-pandemic, and I just moved I'm in a new area in the country and so I started going to this bar class because I was like I need to try other exercises and I need to be more engaged with my body and be more inclusive. So I walk into this exercise studio, which is a pretty well-known and reputable studio and, by the way, I'm also a yoga instructor. So when I go to classes, I'm also thinking about well, how would I teach the class if I was the teacher? So I walk into this class and no one looks like me. So I walk into this class and no one looks like me. Everyone's a woman, but I would say the demographics and age are in like late thirties to fifties. Um, most people identified as white. I probably saw one other person that looked like me and I immediately I felt like I don't belong in this class.

Naihomy: 4:18

Just for just for the audience, what? What would you say? You look like.

Nadila: 4:24

Oh yeah, that's true. I am a South Asian American woman. I am Bangladeshi American. I identify also as heterosexual and I would say also body type I'm beautiful. So I'll just say that yes, own it, you guys hear their confidence yes.

Nadila: 4:45

I. I would also say that, um, for me the way I would describe my body is, um, pretty strong, like I need to believe that I'm strong. So I showed up to the class thinking that I could do this class. I work out, I go to personal training, I'm strong. So I showed up to the class thinking that I could do this class. I work out, I go to personal training, I go to yoga, I lift weights. I could be badass.

Nadila: 5:06

So the class starts right and I'm new in the class. I'm new to the studio. The instructor doesn't say hi to me, she doesn't introduce herself, she just kind of jumps in herself. She just kind of jumps in. She doesn't even ask for does anyone in the room have any requests for this bar class or anything I should know about their body? I'll come around and ask before we get started. She didn't ask that.

Nadila: 5:30

So immediately I thought this class is already not inclusive. Because what if someone has back pain? What if someone just gave birth and came into this class? What if someone has never tried out this class? I've been to a class like bar, but not to the studio. So immediately I just thought this is not going to be great. So we start doing the workout, um, I started looking around the room like what is everyone doing? It gets really intense. My back is hurting, my core is hurting. I'm like this is all weird feelings Like this high intensity. This shouldn't feel like this for me. And after the workout happened um, which, by the way, I like literally was like sweating and dying in the class.

Naihomy: 6:08

I think bar is the most humbling workout ever.

Nadila: 6:12

It's so hard but also you know the way in which the instructor led the class and the way the class was going at and the speed it was going at. There was no care for anyone in the room. It was like you're doing it one, two, three, get it done, let's move to the next thing. There wasn't even like a moment to breathe, which I think is really important, because you can exercise, but if you're not breathing properly, it's not going to work out.

Nadila: 6:35

So fast forward to the end of the class I leave it's not going to work out so fast. Forward to the end of the class I leave, my husband picks me up and I immediately start crying and he's like what happened? And I'm like I felt like I didn't feel seen. I felt like I didn't feel safe. I felt like I'm strong enough to be here. I took courage to showing up, but that class made me feel like I lost everything I worked up to and my choice of going was because I wanted to prioritize my wellness. I used my money to pay for a very expensive class I think the cost was like $36. And for one hour I felt unsafe and me feeling unsafe physically and emotionally and mentally. My body's not working out. My body's fighting instead of just being there and present. So I prioritize my wellness. For a moment where it wasn't inclusive, I wasn't welcomed and I was thinking about how many other people in the room, regardless of what your race or gender is, how they may have felt maybe they had a great experience.

Nadila: 7:49

But my experience is, when I show up, I want to feel held in the space by an instructor and a community, and that just like, wasn't it? And I think one of the things we should talk about in this podcast episode today is, like many of us feel this way, it's so hard to show up. That's the hardest thing. The hardest thing is to show up for anything and commit to yourself because, like, it's just hard to make time for your own self. So I want to start off there, because I prioritize my wellness and try this new class out. Utterly failed. Sometimes it's not about feeling. Sometimes you take risks to see what you could, what, what's your boundaries, and that's part of wellness.

Naihomy: 8:33

Yeah, absolutely, boundaries is an enormous part of wellness and you you know I'm so sorry you had that experience and I do agree I think it's quite common.

Naihomy: 8:43

I had another client who also participated in a bar class, um in Manhattan.

Naihomy: 8:52

Like this location was in Manhattan and she felt a little bit similar but in some cases she did have an instructor who who would take care of her and that allowed her to keep going. But when you have an experience like this and you haven't really and like you haven't really built that identity of you, live your life in wellness, like this is something that's important to you and you find a way and you keep trying and this is one of your first experiences. I think that that is where it gets really complicated with creating this identity, because I believe the first thought would be oh, this is not meant for me, like this is not for me, that's why I don't go to these things, I can't do this, no one looks like me, and all of these thoughts that kind of reaffirm why you haven't been doing this in the first place, arise again and that. And then it takes so much time for us to build the courage again to be like let me try something new. Let me try somewhere else, right?

Nadila: 10:10

yes, well, I think from a DEI perspective I want to just share. Finding space as a woman of color to feel free, included and seen is really hard. The wellness industry is not set up for women of color to succeed, and in some instances you know with the class that I went to $36, like some people might see that price and be like I'm never going to do this because it's not worth my time or my money yeah, but at the same time, I think the choice that I've had to think about is what do I want to use my finances on to support me when for 25 years plus, I have never made a decision to use my finances on my wellness until the last, let's say, eight years? And so I think for anyone out there who's struggling like, how do I start? What do I do? How do I prioritize myself? How do I show up?

Nadila: 11:12

I have one success story to share, a little bit wild. I recently signed up for personal training and I've been doing strength based classes at an incredible studio here in Virginia, and what I did was I went to the studio and I parked my car outside of the studio to see who went in and out, and that gave me a sense of what's the clientele who's there, and and you know, like I'm not trying to be stalker or anything but you got to do your research in some ways and, yes, that did take time and energy for me. But the reason why I did that was because I wanted to make sure the people that were going, who were going, look like me, and I also wanted to make sure it was inclusive to all body types and all ages, and I knew if I found a place that had that, I would feel more comfortable with doing it. So that's the first thing I did. The second thing I did was I walked in and I just like looked around. You know what were the safety precautions, what were, like, the things that the instructors talk about?

Nadila: 12:15

I looked at the prices and as I was walking out, I approached a client who left the studio, who I knew that just did a class, and I asked her what do you think of the studio? And like, let's just be real, sister, like you need to tell me, like it's kind of like this, like I guess code, like if we see someone that looks like us, we feel so much Well, like we might not say the things we're actually feeling, but we'll, we'll give the other sister, you know kind of the details of what works. So I just asked her like what do you think of the studio? She, and she point blank told me I have never been able to keep up with any type of gym or workout schedule. Until I came to the studio because it's held me to be successful in what I needed.

Nadila: 13:01

And that's when I knew the studio was for me. I just immediately knew like maybe this is the place I need to start and I started showing up and I started working with my instructors and my personal trainer and I feel like now I walk in. It's very small, everyone knows each other, everyone says hi. I think that these places exist if you look for them, but if you're not trying, if you're not making time or energy to do it, then they might not exist.

Naihomy: 13:26

Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that, and I think it's like anything else, like not every place is going to be a place for you, and I've definitely walked into places where I'm like, oh, this is definitely not for me. But I think I've also found spaces that work. And you know, I always encourage my clients to just give many things a try until they find something where they feel comfortable with the, the. The solution is not I give up. This is not meant for me, I can't do this. I think it's well, let me see what will be for me.

Naihomy: 14:05

And sometimes it is going on YouTube and finding an influencer that you feel comfortable with, because even if you're not in person with somebody, somebody like you get their vibe off their videos and off the internet. And there's been totally I've done that too and there's some people who are like, oh, I just don't vibe with you, even not knowing you in person virtually right. But there are now so many different instructors where I've had clients find uh, what's it called? Like influencer, workout people who are on YouTube and you can start there. So I'm the type of person who believes there's always a way and there's always a solution. It's just that sometimes we have to go digging for it a little bit more. I've changed workout locations a few times myself and I've just gotten similar to you, just like very in tune to what I need, how I want to be treated, who I want to work with, and I feel like when you start to hold yourself to that standard, then you start to attract people like that in your community as well. I actually now in April, it's been a year that I've been at a new gym working with a new personal trainer, and when I walked in there I was just very clear as to what I wanted.

Naihomy: 15:31

I also went to a few classes. I saw who was in the room, how they were being treated and how often they showed up. I would go to a few classes and it was pretty cool. Like there were people there of all different ages, all different body sizes, all different colors and everybody was very polite to each other, everybody was working out, nobody was rude, the instructor was nice and I was like, okay, I can dig this, like I can be part of this. You know community even being brand new.

Naihomy: 16:00

So I think that the culture says a lot and I do believe that there are places like this that exist and sometimes it does take a little bit of work to find them, and I think it what makes it a little bit more difficult is that it's already something new and it's already that something you might not be comfortable with. Because, if I really go back to when I first walked into a gym after I had my second kid, I was so intimidated I just was in the last row all the way in the back and I kind of wanted to not be seen. I'm like nobody, look at me, nobody, see me, nobody, nothing. But the truth was that the instructor was also welcoming and I had told him I'm like, hey, I might not be able to do certain things because I just had a C-section six months ago. So there are some things that you might not see me doing if I feel like my body is not ready for that yet.

Naihomy: 17:01

So you know, I think that building that relationship, building the rapport and and with anything and I would love more of your perspective on this, because, as a D E N I professional is D E, I, d S, I always D E I'm like I always mess up these acronyms I think it's the same for any environment you walk into, like how you're treated right. It could be a bank. It can be your job, same thing at the gym or a workout space, even if it is virtually.

Nadila: 17:39

Yes, absolutely so, let's. One of the things you and I both use is the Peloton, and I love the Peloton because it's so accessible for when you need it, what you need it to do, if you need a five minute stretch, a 10 minute workout, a 15 minute there's many options of inclusivity, of who you can have and many different styles. I think that type of brand that acknowledges inclusivity and different body types. And, by the way, you know Peloton. Some people might say there's some problematic things, and there are with any industry, with any company, you know, like you said, whether you walk into a doctor's office or a grocery store, there are things that will come up. I think what people need to decide, particularly women of color, is what are their boundaries?

Nadila: 18:25

You know, you said something really interesting. You said you knew what you wanted. I think to prioritize your wellness, you really need to reflect on what are the things you want. I was thinking about bringing this up at the end of the podcast, but I'll bring it up now since it's coming into the conversation is one of the things I did with my friend, one of my colleagues that I work with. I do consulting on the side with the friend, a girlfriend of mine, who's amazing.

Nadila: 18:51

We were working on a project together and one of the things we started was manifesting your vision for what you want in your life. So a lot of people make a vision board right With like colors and pictures and quotes and images from magazines. One of the things we do in one of our sessions is write down the vision you seek to have for your life and go beyond what you want professionally. Yes, please, right, like writing. Okay, it's 2024 and I'm sitting in my backyard in the house that I own with the flowers that I love. This is my life right now, by the way you know, writing down a vision from six months to 12 months from now and actually manifesting that.

Nadila: 19:37

There's something true with that Everything I wrote down in my vision for this workshop we did back last year is now true. I said I wanted my own house. I said I wanted financial freedom. I said I wanted to get rid of my school, my student loans. There are so many things that I wanted that I wrote down and that helped me feel grounded and I think, for a while. Starting your wellness journey is thinking about what do you want personally, what do you want professionally, and who are the things or the communities or spaces that you need to uplift you to have that vision.

Naihomy: 20:13

That part right there. Yeah, because something I want to mention in the part I said I went in and I knew what I wanted. I didn't come to that by myself. I also came to that with guidance. I actually spoke with a friend who's also a health coach, but she is a professional in gyms Like she works in gyms, she's a fitness instructor, all that and when I was trying to do my research, I went to her and I'm like what should I be looking for in terms of, like, gym setting and personal trainer?

Naihomy: 20:44

Um, I was like, what should I be looking for? What questions should I ask? What should I look for? So, going in there and be like I knew what I wanted it wasn't because it's my area expertise and I knew everything I should pay attention to is because I asked and I leaned on someone else who knows about this.

Naihomy: 21:05

And every single time I'm going to walk into a space where I don't know much about, I know that there are things that I might be missing. I now reach out to someone else and be like hey, can you have a conversation with me about this? Can you please let me know what I'm not thinking about, what I'm missing, what I should be looking for what I should be asking. So I love the part and if you did not mention it, I was going to ask you. It's like, okay, you make this vision, you execute on it, it comes true. But what? What happens in the in between right? Like you don't just sit there and wait, like you have worked for it, like you wrote it down and then you went to work and part of that work is being supported and finding people to support you.

Nadila: 21:58

Yes, so I think that you know. One of the questions that you and I wanted to discuss is also like what are the barriers women of color face in have to confront traumatic experiences and heal through things that are really hard to heal through? My the way in which I got to my vision was a lot of tears, was also my lowest points, right, but it mattered who was in the room with me to guide me to get the get to the right thing. And I think the first step is identifying, like what do you want to? What are you seeking to do? Maybe your goals change through time. Who's in the room with you and accepting that the process might not be easy, but the end outcome which, by the way, won't be a destination, it's going to be a journey that's going to change through time, like that's what wellness is. It's not a destination, it's going to change based on the chapter you are in your life. Yeah, um, you are going to have to really think about are you willing to do this deep inner work? I think that's one of the major barriers women of color face is that when you open that barrier, when you open like all the things that are coming up, you're sort of unleashing really vulnerable and uncomfortable feelings and that's really hard Not to say like. By the way, let me just caveat and say this isn't just a woman of color thing, I think it's also like a woman thing, and we're not even going to talk about hyper-masculinity situation.

Nadila: 23:50

But regardless of your identity, what you carry, who you are and the elements you carry in your identity, those things are going to come up, I think, from a DEI perspective. The things for a wellness perspective you need to think about is you know what's my socioeconomic status? What resources do I have? Do I have health care In my gender or my sexuality? Am I going to have resources based on the identity I carry in that space? You know, lots of trans women right now don't have access. Lots of even queer identifying people or non-binary people might not even feel seen.

Nadila: 24:31

So when I think about my work as a DEI practitioner and a yoga instructor is how do I make sure that a lot of identities are seen and how do I make sure that, whatever identity you have, you're able to manifest a vision that feels most comfortable for you? Um, and identifying like, what do you need to actually prioritize to make your wellness happen? And wellness, like I said, I've been saying and you say it's me, it's different for everyone. It's not, it's not all you know. People say that wellness is get a face mask, get cute socks, get you know those are great, I love those things. And, at the same time, wellness is structure, it's hydration, it's boundaries yes, boundaries taking a day off from work without telling people why you have to take off.

Naihomy: 25:24

Yes.

Nadila: 25:26

Um, so I I do think the first step of prioritizing your wellness is identifying what do you want to accomplish. And, by the way, it's not diet culture, let's just be real about that. It is not about dieting, it is not. I mean, for some people, yes, like even for me, I wanted to lose some weight in. You know, a year from now maybe I'll come back to that, but for me, like I shared in the last podcast, it's been about more strength base, and I think we got to move to a wellness industry where it's less about how you look and more about how do you feel mentally, emotionally. How do you feel mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, et cetera.

Naihomy: 26:11

Yeah, yes, there, there are so many points there, or everything from when you choose to live a life in wellness, there's a lot of vulnerabilities that come up.

Naihomy: 26:17

There's a lot of societal structures that you probably have to let go of or undo for yourself and and that alone is very vulnerable there's a lot of cultural aspects that might not be aligned with now how you want to live your life, because you just haven't seen those examples or you're coming from families that were in deep survival mode for so long and now you do have the access and the space to take care of yourself in a way that looks different and you might feel a lot of shame and a lot of guilt for doing that for yourself and maybe, like past family members, not being able to or looking at you in a different way.

Naihomy: 26:56

So there's so much that comes up when you choose to truly take care of yourself and I just believe like there's just certain basics, like if you're human, no matter how you identify, there's just basic needs that humans need, and it's like feeding yourself, moving your body, taking time to rest. That's just universal for everybody and it's also a problem and a struggle for a lot of people because of the way that we've been conditioned and socialized. So even just doing that, like going back to basics and and what are your basic needs, is a struggle, and then we get to add on all of the other pressures that we've been talking about. And you know, when you mentioned about, like I was, I just posted about this and stories, I mean it's going to be.

Nadila: 27:51

I think I know where you're going it's been.

Naihomy: 27:56

I should just read it. I should just read it off of the story, because I think I'm going to mess up what I said If I try and paraphrase it myself. But you know, we've we've kind of been forced to manipulate our bodies to look a specific way, to fit a specific mold. That, let's be real, it's like really been brought up by capitalism and a lot of women especially women of color, depending on our body size and shape try to manipulate our bodies to the point where we literally make ourselves sick, Like we're fainting. Our body is self-destructing. It is eating itself, because one thing the body does is it will use its own resources until you die. So it's because the main priority is to keep you alive. So if it needs to take minerals from your bones and they become brittle, they will. If it needs to take minerals from your teeth, from your muscles, anywhere and everywhere, it will self-destruct to keep you alive. So if you're not giving your body what it needs, if you're not giving it hydration, if you're not eating well, you better believe that it will start to do things to itself. If you're under a lot of stress and then you go to the doctor and the doctor's like, oh, you're fine, you look good. This sense of oh, you know like it pays off, or it's okay to feel sick, to look this certain way until sometimes you get a reality check.

Naihomy: 29:33

So there was just a celebrity that was highlighting the same conversation and she was sharing her story as to how, when she became super skinny, to manipulate her body in that way, she was also super sick. But what I wrote after? After that, I said maybe may we all strive to be healthy instead of trying to manipulate our bodies into shapes that are not meant for us. May may we all feel love and appreciation for the shape and size our body is supposed to be, with the standard of being health first. Right, I truly believe and let me finish reading we have lost our innate ability to know what that is and now we have to undo and relearn, do and relearn, Undo and relearn, Undo and relearn Because, yeah, and I shared briefly a story of one of my clients I said a former client of mine is very politically active, anti-capitalist and fight for the rights of women of color to get what they deserve.

Naihomy: 30:38

However, she also wanted to reach that skinny, smallest possible shape Insert. Trust me, me too, I thought that was the ultimate sign of success. I'll keep reading, However. Her body is voluptuous, curvy and sexy. I reminded her that living in her shape, full of health, is fighting for anti-capitalism, not conforming to what society, the media and the media was asking of her. Living fully in who she is and her truth is one of the biggest FUs she could protest with. That was powerful.

Nadila: 31:16

Biggest resistance that you can have in the liberation and also the more we do it, the more we support other people to normalize that that it's okay to do it. Something happened to me this week where I was talking to someone and they were like, by the way, I was told this person just got back from um, from leave and and by leave I mean like family leave and you know they're on ramping back and stuff like that. And they were what they were told was like whenever you have a meeting and you're on video and you're talking with a high power leader, you got to look the part. You have to have makeup on, you have to have your hair blowed out, you have to have like formal dress attire whether you're in the office or not. And I was like these are the expectations we have.

Nadila: 32:04

Um, I bring this up to say that I don't. I'm not showing up my best looking self at work right now. I never really do that. I want to show up looking my best for me. And, um, I learned very early on through my work in nonprofit. I was working at an all women's organization and the number one, one of the number one rules there we had like a few got community guidelines. They're not. One of the community guidelines we had was never share any affirmations to someone based on how they look. So let's say, you and I are hanging out right now, right, and by the way, we're wearing like, uh, we're both wearing green hoodies.

Naihomy: 32:47

So it's like, yeah, we're manifesting like the heart chakra.

Nadila: 32:53

I think that's green. Um, but I would. I, you know, I wouldn't. I would normally not bring that up and say, oh, you know, we're both wearing the same thing. We both look really great right now, because the more in society we do that, the more things perpet expectation. Wherever you are. Instead of affirming someone on their physical appearance, let's affirm them for the wealth of knowledge they bring. Let's affirm them for their brilliance. Let's affirm them for you know, someone in my meeting said something amazing the other day and I should go back and write to them like write them a little gratitude, like what you said really resonated with me. Why does it have to be? Let's say, you come back from maternity leave and someone's like wow, your body looks so good.

Nadila: 33:49

We should not be affirming each other on those things we should be affirming each other on um. You know you? Your body has so much strength. You just gave birth to human being.

Naihomy: 34:00

Yeah.

Nadila: 34:01

So I think we got to move from a place where we talk about things from a deficit and talk about things from a positive perspective and growth mindset to have a better community for all of us.

Naihomy: 34:13

Yeah, and even asking how you're feeling, because in those examples of women just like trying to be as small as possible, you don't know how they're feeling. Right, they're probably feeling pretty terrible and it's reaffirming like, okay, if they think I look good, then I should keep this up, right? So I tend to never unless I personally know you like Nadila, I know your personal training, I know you're feeding yourself I'm like, wow, you like Nadila, I know your personal training, I know you're feeding yourself I'm like, wow, you're like your results are really paying off, or something like that. Then maybe I would feel a little bit more open to share something like that. But I think I always ask somebody how are you feeling? First, because it might not be a relevant or like a time sensitive comment to say yeah. So I think that to tell a stranger that not knowing what they're going through is pretty insensitive.

Nadila: 35:10

Yes, um, there was something you brought up about you know, like making sure you know you're looking at your blood and your blood work, things like that, or you know when you're that. The example you gave was like this celebrity is trying to like be smaller and knowing that, like she's going to the doctor, all her results look good, but does she feel good? Right? And one of the things I want to bring up is I talked about this in the last episode I have Hashimoto's and autoimmune disease. That comes with a whole list of symptoms and, um, one of the things my endocrinologist told me was you have a few options. One of your options is drugs, which I definitely support. Anyone who takes medical advice and also decides to take medication. I think medication could be really helpful and I support that for me. I asked her what is the point in which I need to take medication versus how can I change this in my body?

Nadila: 36:09

In the last three years of going through my Hashimoto's journey, I have been able to reverse a lot of my Hashimoto's um to the point where I have I don't have Hashimoto's in my body right now, and that's like lifestyle change, like going fully gluten-free, hiring you as my wellness coach, hiring the people that I need to help me get through this life transformation, because changing diet is really really hard and alienating and isolating, especially when you're doing it for a health reason and not for a look reason, like I want to look better.

Nadila: 36:46

This was more of a internal health decision I needed to make, but now I'm looking at my numbers and I'm like I am so proud of myself that I invested in myself to do this and I guess my question that I have for you is a lot of times, like one of the reasons why women of color or in generally women, end up not accessing resources might be for financial reasons. I'm curious to know, like, what are you hearing right now in the workspace that you have with the finances? Because I think, from a diversity, equity and inclusion space, there's one thing about accessibility and there's one thing about commitment.

Naihomy: 37:27

Yes, there is. So it can go. Like you know, I've been asked about my prices a lot, or the you know the layers of finances and money that you need for different parts of your wellness, like supplements are expensive sometimes or it's relative right like I could think it's expensive, but generally this is like you have to spend money. I'm somewhere and people have thoughts about spending money. So there's supplements, there's gy, there's people like me who offer health coaching, there's there's a whole slew of things. Anyway, I find that when it's time to invest in ourselves, when it comes to health specifically, it becomes a problem and there is a timeline that it's put on it as well, like, oh, I should only be doing this for a specific amount of time, which is very tied into diet culture, where it's like you do this for six months, you do this 10 day challenge, you do this for 30 days and there's an expected end time. So what I've come to realize, at least for myself, right is that it is the best money I can ever spend, because to me, the value of feeling good in my skin and I'm not talking about clothes and shape, I'm talking about I have energy, my body doesn't hurt, I consistently don't have stomach issues where I'm bloated or I have diarrhea or constipation. My head is not always hurting, by the way.

Naihomy: 39:15

These are things I would struggle with often in my twenties. I was just always feeling like crap. I had a mini pharmacy. In my twenties, I was just always feeling like crap. I had a mini pharmacy in my bag, I had gas acts and I had Tums and I had Motrin and I had Advil and if you need those things, please, like I still have Tylenol and all those things at home just in case, and I use them every once in a while when I really really need them. But it's not my normal, like it was just very normal for me to have those things every single day. So when I say that it's valuable for me to feel good in my skin, that's what I mean. Where I'm feeling really good. I've also really value what my quality of life will look like as I age, and I've seen examples of what it can be and I don't want that.

Naihomy: 40:02

So I think that in this, let's say, microwavable culture, where everything is instant, where we find that we might not need to put a lot of work to get results, where you're promised fast results, then the idea of having a consistent expense to take care of yourself whether that's with supplements at the gym, like whatever that looks like for you can be a little triggering, especially when you haven't seen people in your life do this for themselves before. And it's two part right. One is a financial commitment and two is a time commitment where you would need to take time out of your day, whether it's from your career or from helping other family members or from doing other things that you would need to take out to take care of yourself. So wrapping your brain around finances and time can be very overwhelming and feel unsafe, because feeling unsafe in your body and in your experience that, by the way, are common for a lot of people, but not necessarily normal and healthy feels a lot better than going in this totally different direction where you are changing the game for yourself and all of a sudden you're feeling good and all of a sudden you're taking time to take care of yourself.

Naihomy: 41:29

So it baffles my mind when I speak to women who are so sick, who've been sick for so long, with things that really impact their health and can be detrimental and ruin their quality of life 10, 15, 20 years from now and prevent them from doing things that they love, mostly from hormonal imbalances, right, like um, or autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto's, PCOS, diabetes, endometriosis, like the list goes on and on and on and on, where we blindly go in these directions. And then they find somebody or they hear of something that can help. But because it might be, it might have a price tag to it, because they might need time commitment to it, um, they just decide not to. And that breaks my heart because I know and you are proof, and I myself am also proof of how you can completely change your life with simple lifestyle changes and you can actually fall in love and find safety in that. But the decision to move forward with that and to move forward even with your fear and trust that this is something that's possible for you, can sometimes be debilitating to somebody.

Nadila: 42:52

Yes, I. You brought up time and finances. One of the things I want to bring up is mindset.

Naihomy: 43:00

Okay, um, oh yes, that's. That's what's holding you back in the first place.

Nadila: 43:05

Yes, yes, so I have like a story here. Um, I and you know this like I've been dealing with this, like eczema flare up or something, some type of skin condition, I'm not even sure from where it's been bothering me for months. It's not on my face, somewhere else in my body and, um, it looks like eczema. It could be psoriasis, I'm not sure I know. For a fact, it's probably not something I'm eating, because if it was, then I would have other symptoms, because I've done research, I've talked to you, I've talked to my doctor, et cetera.

Nadila: 43:37

It's something else environmental that's disrupting me right now. I keep telling my husband I want to get our house inspected for molds and he was like we had an inspection, it's fine, and I'm like, no, we gotta do it, we gotta do it. Um, so I I bring this up because I was doing research to try to figure out is there an eczema coach I can talk to or someone that I want to talk to? And I was falling into like a rabbit hole of social media.

Naihomy: 44:01

I actually have somebody for you, but keep going.

Nadila: 44:04

Oh great, I want to. Um, and one of the barriers that I was feeling was like, oh man, like I got to like spend money to figure this out, whether it's at the dermatologist's office, which is like band-aid solution, or whether it's a coach that's going to help me figure, a health coach, a nutritional coach that's going to help me figure this out. It might not even be health or nutritional, it might be something environmental, but I'm going to have to spend money for it, and I was hesitant to do it, but then I thought how bad do I want it to stop?

Naihomy: 44:35

Yeah.

Nadila: 44:35

You know, like how much is it impacting my life right now? I mean, the other day I did a. I did a breast biopsy on the eczema, right. I got stitches in. I didn't take the day off from work. By the way, now, for anyone who's ever done a biopsy on your breasts and had stitches, y'all know that hurts, right. So I didn't know that. The doctor didn't tell me it was going to be an issue. I ended up doing it. Going to work facilitated a 60 minute conversation and one of my colleagues was like, oh my God, that's so great. Like you did, you killed it and I was like man. I was really suffering because I'm like in pain, but I knew as a woman of color, I had no choice but to show up 150% while I'm in pain, and that's what I mean about DEI showing up Like that's what I mean about DEI showing up Like.

Nadila: 45:25

that's what I mean about identity showing up is I can take a day off to figure out my biopsy, my skin issue, nothing. I've been in pain for like months with this issue. I've been showing up to work without taking time off. This is a mindset thing for me is how much like when it's, by the time it gets worse, I'm already going to be in a place where I'm going to have to lift myself back up three times more than where I am now.

Nadila: 45:55

So I got to make the investment now. Now I have a few strategies, I think, from a financial standpoint, that I think it's important to bring up here. One as your DEI sister talking to you already now you got to help out the sisters out there. You got to help out the other women of color who are coaching, who are doing great job, and pay them what they deserve. Let's not hear about, wow, your prices are so expensive, why don't we actually approach it? As you know what this sister is trying to make her business happen and she has great results. What would it mean for me to make this happen for me right now?

Nadila: 46:29

Because it's also painful from the other side, like as a yoga instructor, as a coach, where you, when you hear someone say, like your prices aren't affordable or accessible, but you got to be paid for what you're worth. That's what we want as women of color, right? So one thing that people can do is talking to one of my really close college friends. I love her dearly and she was asking me about something. She's in a PhD program and she was asking about, like, how do I get someone to pay for this? And I'm like start a GoFundMe, reach out to your closest community and let them know, like here are some things that I'm going through. I can't really afford this. Here's what I could do.

Nadila: 47:14

Look at your company benefits also and see will FSA cover this? Ask the coach you're working with, the doctor you're covering you're talking to, can FSA cover it? Even check in with your benefits team of. Like one of my girlfriends at a new firm, she was telling me that all of them get $500 for wellness. Wellness could be anything. So there are resources people can do, but I think that people might feel I don't want to use the word lazy, but if you do some research, there are some great financial opportunities that can help you get set up with this. Don't think that finances are a barrier. I think one thing that you need to think about is what am I spending my money on? Maybe I don't need the fancy bag or the fancy shoes right now. Maybe I need to make a long-term investment in my health.

Naihomy: 48:00

Yeah, I love the long-term investment and thinking about where you're actually spending money, because the truth is, I still have to ground myself every single time when I'm spending money on myself, and something that you mentioned was, you know, like how bad do I want this to stop? And mindset like all those pieces together. I've had a bunch of women reach out to me and be like I can't wait till you know I get to work with you. I'm I just need to get my money together and guess what I do? I send them to the amazing money mindset coaches that I know who are out here to serve as well, because I, too, understand the importance of finances and feeling safe as you're spending the money.

Naihomy: 48:50

One thing is having like really not being able to afford this because you have obviously other priorities. Like I get that, but there's always something you can do. You can always start a conversation. If people DM me for a, a question, I always answer and try and help and support the same way that you were saying you can talk to people in hr, and I just want to be like really validating, for like you don't know what you don't know, but if you're listening to this and you have many light bulbs going off of? Oh, I didn, I didn't think of that, I didn't think of this. Then go ahead and take action on that and investing in your health is a long-term investment. I know that we like to think of right now and everything fast right now, but I always love to have a conversation and inquire with 90 year old Naomi and what her thoughts are and what she has to say and what quality of life does she want, like I always think I do not want to be the person who limits myself from having a great life. Like if I want to go to Machu Picchu and hike at 60 years old, like how is that going to happen? Well, it's going to happen Me taking really good care of myself right now, so I might as well do that.

Naihomy: 50:11

Another thing with money and this is a mindset thing which, trust me, I have to do a lot of work on is money as an infinite resource. It doesn't seem like it, because a lot of times it's really hard to get our hands on it or whatever it is, but it's something you can always get back. Your health is not something you can always get back. You are not an unlimited resource. So how do we make sure that we're taking care of ourselves and we are living our quality of life? And also, to be clear, you affect others when you're not taking care of yourself. Caretaker. So what about if the biggest gift that we can give our loved ones is taking really good care of ourselves, so that we can be fully independent for as long as possible and keep living that?

Naihomy: 51:19

These are the things I think about and this is what makes it so okay. When I have to pay my personal trainer every single month, when I have to pay the gym every single month, when I have to pay the gym every single month, when I have to invest in other coaches to help me grow, that's what I think about. And guess what? When you start building that evidence bank of how far you come, how far you grow and you're still safe, it makes it easier to be like yes, I am excited to spend this money because I know that my results are going to 10 X. I know that I'm going to be so much better, so, as you, I'm working on my strength.

Naihomy: 51:59

I don't think my wellness journey is ever going to end me like, obviously, when I die, right, but it's just something that's always so top of mind for me as to if I need to rebudget, like that's always in my budget, and I always find a way to do that because it's that important to me, because it has that much value to me, for me now, for me in 20 years, for me in 30 years and not just physically and how we look, because our shape will always be changing, but how we feel, how we feel.

Naihomy: 52:32

How we feel how we feel, and we've lost touch with what it means to feel good, what it means to feel healthy, because we've been living in this pool of sickness for so long and everybody around us is kind of in the same boat, so we normalize it so much. I'm 38 years old and the memes are off the chain with 30 plus your back hurts, 30 plus your knees hurt, 30 plus this, 30 plus that, and I'm like I can't relate. Sure, my knees are hurting, but they're just sore because you know I was power lifting yesterday. But why we do not need to continue to just feed into this, what's it called? Like this conversation that's not serving anybody and, whether you know it or not, is hurting people around you. I don't know.

Nadila: 53:26

I can go on, but yes, I was just going to say, like so many things there resonated with me. I think one thing I want listeners to think about is really identifying, like what you need for your body, your spiritual mind, your emotional mind. I want to give a shout out to the woman of color who have walked away from careers and jobs that have really just destroyed them. Yes, and they felt brave enough to do it. I have a friend who's. I have a few friends right now who are like yeah, I'm not, I'm not down for this anymore. Like now I know that this is not worth the situation in my body, you know, and I'm so, they're so brave, and I bring that up because you know the story I said about my, my biopsy, going to work, et cetera. I, in that moment, my mindset was I have to do everything and show up a hundred percent for everything, but what's the sacrifice is? I'm sacrificing me.

Naihomy: 54:34

Yes, there's always a price to pay.

Nadila: 54:37

Right. So, and you know, for me, for my journey, like I've had to have very difficult, I've had to have very difficult conversations. So last week I took a full week off from work. Unexpectedly, I was just like I can't work this week. It was so hard for me to do this.

Nadila: 54:55

I have really. I have some really really important and critical projects right now. I don't want to let any of my colleagues down. I love the people I work with. I feel really passionate for the work that I do, but I realized that the more I felt sick, the more compromise I was getting. And no, no one at work was going to be able to take care of me, not even my, my partner. He can't take care of me. I had to make a decision and have a mindset shift that if I don't take this time off right now so I can sleep, so I can rest, et cetera, then later I'm going to be resentful for my work. I don't want to get to that point, right. So, by the way, if you have FMLA leave, if you have sick time, if you have PTO, you don't need to always take PTO to go on a great beach trip. You can take PTO to go to target. You know what I mean? Yeah, little tiny things.

Nadila: 55:48

So one of the things I want people to leap with from this conversation is, regardless of where you are in your identity, where you are in your process, really identify how do you want to prioritize your wellness? What are the ways in which your financial situation can help do that. I have a friend who's going to the YMCA because it's affordable and I was like, great girl, you do that and she has. So she's like so energetic and spiritual. I'm like I want to go with her, like find the people also that you can go with. Um, don't do things on your own.

Nadila: 56:22

One of my colleagues put together a Peloton ride. I wasn't able to make it, but I thought it was so beautiful. She did it because it reminded me that you can do things with your community, but in a virtual way, in a way that's like accessible to other people. So you know, those are the things I'm hoping that folks got out of this Knowing that there are a lot of challenges that women and women of color have to like. Actually have wellness is hard, because you know the other thing you and I were talking about this woman, and women of color particularly, have been taught that we can't celebrate ourselves.

Naihomy: 57:01

Yeah.

Nadila: 57:02

That the society we live in now is when you have the financial ability or when you have the dream job or when you have all of the other things in your life. You got to put other people first and other things first that don't include you. Keyword is you Like what do you actually do to need to put yourself first right now and what can you let go of so that you can create some space for yourself right now? I think is really important.

Naihomy: 57:33

Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up and I actually created a podcast all around this, so if you go back, I think it was one of the last two we I really talk about that and creating that space and asking for support. I think it's the one right before this one where it was just like there are ways to create space in your life for yourself while you also show up for other people. It's just finding how to do that and I go over 12 examples of how either clients or myself has done that. So go check that out. Yeah, one thing you asked me that I don't think I answered because I went off on a tangent per usual was what's the significance or what does it mean to to commit when you're also financially investing in something right, and it was like a two-part question and I just want to talk about that real fast.

Naihomy: 58:34

But when it comes to accessibility and prices and things like that, the reason why that's important it's because it's really an energetic commitment and sometimes it becomes not as much as a priority when the energetic and financial investment is not there.

Naihomy: 58:54

So it doesn't serve you and it doesn't serve the person who's supporting you If that's the kind of contract that you have and you're making a. You're making like a commitment to each other as like student and coach or client and coach or whoever it is, or trainer or whatever to be there for each other. I show up for you as much as you are going to show up for yourself, and sometimes, when that investment is not there, it makes it really hard to make it a priority. If my trainer is waiting for me, I show up. I paid and I show up and he's there waiting for me, and so are my other coaches. So it's, how do you create that mutual respect, how do you give yourself that respect and that priority? And really, what that's teaching you is how to prioritize this. How do you learn how to show up for this?

Nadila: 1:00:09

Because later on you probably the investments might look different, but you, you have now understood the importance of it, so you show up more freely without it having to be like tied to financials or energetic or something like that. You know that what you're, what you're saying to me, reminds me of our relationship with mental health services, like therapy or, you know, seeing a psychiatrist. Um, a lot of times people use like their insurance to pay for those things and they show up one way. But recently I've been thinking about not using my insurance and paying for an investment for a therapist. That's like the right fit for me versus like just doing it to do it. Yes, because I'm not getting anything out of it just doing it to do it. I might get something out of it when I feel personally connected to the person I'm talking to. So I a hundred percent agree like really thinking about what investments are you putting into this, because your time, we will never get back time.

Naihomy: 1:00:56

Nope.

Nadila: 1:00:58

So how we use our time now will yield the success of what we want before. The one of the last things I want to bring up too is I recently asked my mom who is a cancer survivor. She had uterine cancer, she's a doctor, she has diabetes hype, you know things like that. Um, I recently asked my mom and she's like in her she's like 68, almost she's about to be 70. I think I recently asked her what makes her show up to the gym, like why does she go?

Nadila: 1:01:28

Because I was thinking about my mom and you know, imagine, like a seven-year-old grandmother with a smaller body type, an immigrant, a Brown woman, a Muslim woman going to the gym. I was like fearful of her going to the gym Cause I was worried about her. I was worried about what she was thinking, how she was feeling, and my mom is so strong and strong I mean like mentally she's very strong and she told me I'm going to the gym because I know when I go I feel really good. I know when I go I'm taking care of my body. I'm doing it for my diabetes, I'm doing it for my ability to be a cancer survivor, and this was during a time where it was really hard for me to get back to the gym.

Nadila: 1:02:12

I was like struggling and I was like man, like my mom, who's 70 years old, is going to planet fitness on her own Meanwhile. I'm like devastated, like. I'm like worried about her going by herself and I was just thinking about how strong she is in doing it. And so every time, anytime I want to give up, anytime I want to take a step back from my journey, I think about her because she's been through so much, even so much trauma, that she reminds me what strength is, and so one of the things I want to leave the listeners with is who are the people that remind you of strength, who are the people that motivate you? Surround yourself with those people to help you get back up right now.

Naihomy: 1:02:56

Yeah, that's such a beautiful story. And go, mom.

Nadila: 1:03:00

I know I love her.

Naihomy: 1:03:02

That is so beautiful. And if you, that can be people that you don't know personally. I want to mention that and just open it up to make it more even accessible in this way, because I personally didn't have anybody in my life. What was like, wow, they're living that lifestyle that I want to live, right. So I had to look at outside sources. So I coined I don't know if anybody knows train with Joanne. She's, I think she's Canadian and she's like in her eighties and she's a badass working out and I coined her, my internet grandma, like. Those are the type of people I look up to, and also yourself. Who do you want to be when you're, as you age, as you get older, how are you going to show up for yourself? So just many options here as to who to use for to inspire you. It can be family members, it can be people who you don't know but are living a lifestyle that you would like to. It can be your own future self.

Nadila: 1:04:06

Yes, and and if you see someone that is manifesting some of the things you want, just give them a holler and say, hey, yeah, talk to people. Yeah, like one of my coworkers listened to my last podcast episode and she was like a lot of what you said resonated with me Some things that are different, some things that aren't. And even her reaching out and telling, telling, like she sharing that with me, made me feel like I made impact, but also made me feel like I can go to someone at work and talk about, you know, some of these things or open it up for them, and it was something I never even thought about or the possibility. But I think reaching out and even telling people like I heard what you said, even the comments right on the on Instagram, like just supporting one another, is such a big thing. So that's that's what we have. You know, prioritizing your joy, prioritizing your wellness. Um, I'm thinking about all of the people who are really struggling right now. My wish to them is just keep trying to find out what works for you.

Naihomy: 1:05:13

Yeah, absolutely, don't give up. Don't give up and usually change starts to happen when you are a little vulnerable, and these are topics that are not easy to talk about, are a little vulnerable and these are topics that are not easy to talk about, even amongst girlfriends or groups of friends. These are just things that do not come up often. Oftentimes these topics are embarrassing or you feel like there's something wrong with you. So, just reiterating, there are spaces where you can safely share and if that's starting with one of us, then I'm sure Nadila, you're also open. I definitely am open as to just even if we can point you to the right person, like you heard in the middle of the podcast where Nadila's like I'm trying to look for somebody that's a nice person and I'm like, oh, I know somebody who can help you. Yes, you know, it can be that simple when you're just willing to share where you need support. Cool, absolutely. I feel like it needs a little pitching. Any last words before we let everybody go and ponder on everything we've said.

Nadila: 1:06:32

I'm trying to think. I feel like we covered a lot here. My last words are don't compare yourself to other people and people that want to give you unsolicited advice. I have a friend who does this right now and I'm like you don't always have you know like people mean well when they give you advice, but you can also say thank you, but no, thank you you can also use your boundaries.

Nadila: 1:06:59

Everyone's process is different. I don't. You know, wellness is an important part of my life. One of my colleagues was like you're wellness queen and I'm like I'm not a wellness queen. I'm still on this journey, Like I can't even take a week off to do this biopsy right. I'm still on this journey. Like, just remember, you can stand with your boundaries. You can also be okay with having grace for yourself, Like I messed up a few weeks ago with my health issue. I'm giving myself grace that that was a moment in time and I'm going to allow myself to feel that way and move on and process and heal from it. So give yourself grace, give yourself time and really try to block out as much as you can the things that you don't need, the things that aren't serving you yeah, for sure that's it thank you so much.

Naihomy: 1:07:53

What I will add on to that is it's okay to be scared and you're worthy. Scared sometimes is a safe feeling to feel. I would invite you to sit with the scared and see where it's coming from and if it's like something that it's. I'm scared, but I know I really need this and being worthy of taking care of yourself in this way, so I just want you to know that as well. Thank you, nadila, for coming on once again. You always have amazing topics, stories, recommendations, suggestions to share with everybody. I'm glad that you were able to do this and to share, so thank you again for coming on.

Nadila: 1:08:41

Absolutely, I feel like we'll be back in a few months with other updates. Absolutely, I feel like we'll be back in a few months with other updates. That's what I'm like.

Naihomy: 1:08:48

Thank you again.

Nadila: 1:08:50

I'll be back soon and if anyone's out there that wants to connect with me, feel free to reach out, and Naomi always does a great job sharing out my info.

Naihomy: 1:08:58

But I'm here for you, for all the sisters out there, for thinking about you thank you, nadila, and if you need to reach out to me, all of Nadila's information is going to be in the show notes, so that's where you can find it. You can also find my information. If you want to connect with me on my show it, we would really, really appreciate it. Go ahead and screenshot and tag and share on Instagram and we'll be sure to repost it. I hope this has served you and, as you know, if you need support, I invite you to book a consultation with also the show notes. All right, I'll talk to you all soon. Bye.